THE DOUBLE STANDARD OLYMPICS
Criticizing Joe Biden for Pardoning His Son While Ignoring Trump’s Circus of Chaos
Ladies and gentlemen, gather around! Welcome to the Double Standard Olympics, where hypocrisy takes center stage, and logic takes a backseat ride in a clown car. Today’s event: the criticism of President Joe Biden for pardoning his son, Hunter Biden, while former President Donald Trump continues to somersault through scandals like a reality TV gymnast.
Let’s begin with the star of our show, Joe Biden. Sure, Uncle Joe has his quirks. He’s the guy who might accidentally call you by your dog’s name or confuse a microphone for an ice cream cone. But let’s face it—he’s a gaffe machine with a heart of gold. If he were to pardon his son, it wouldn’t be because he’s trying to cover up some grand conspiracy involving secret pizza parlor meetings or alien lizard overlords. No, it would likely be because he’s a dad who loves his kid and wants to give him a second chance. Is that so hard to believe?
But oh no, the critics are sharpening their pitchforks and lighting their torches. “How dare he?” they cry. “This is a betrayal of justice!” they yell, clutching their pearls so tightly that even oysters are jealous. Meanwhile, these same folks are suspiciously silent about the fact that Donald Trump has been handing out lies like Halloween candy since 2016.
Let’s talk about Trump for a moment, shall we? This is a man who could probably lie about what he had for breakfast and then double down when confronted with video evidence of him eating pancakes. He’s the human embodiment of “alternative facts,” flipping positions faster than a pancake at an all-you-can-eat diner. One day, he loves someone; the next day, they’re “the worst person ever.” It’s like watching a soap opera, except with more lawsuits and fewer commercial breaks.
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room—or rather, the orange elephant in the gilded penthouse. Trump has been accused of everything from tax fraud to mishandling classified documents to trying to overturn an election (you know, just casual Tuesday activities). And yet, his supporters seem to have developed a case of selective outrage. They’ll scream bloody murder over Biden pardoning his son but shrug off Trump’s antics like he’s just a mischievous toddler who spilled juice on the carpet.
Here’s the thing: Hunter Biden isn’t running for office. He’s not making policy decisions or holding rallies where people chant slogans like they’re auditioning for a dystopian musical. He’s just a guy with a troubled past who happens to have a very famous dad. If Joe Biden were to pardon him, it wouldn’t change the price of eggs or the trajectory of inflation. It would simply be an act of familial compassion. And let’s be real—if you were in Joe’s shoes and had the power to help your kid, wouldn’t you do it? (Be honest; no one’s judging.)
On the flip side, Trump has made pardoning people practically a sport. Remember when he pardoned Steve Bannon, the man who looks like he just emerged from a three-day nap in a dumpster? Or when he commuted the sentence of Roger Stone, who seems like he was created in a lab by combining DNA from a Bond villain and a used car salesman? Where was the outrage then? Oh right—it was conveniently misplaced under the MAGA hats.
The double standard here isn’t just glaring; it’s practically wearing neon lights and doing the Macarena in Times Square. Criticizing Biden for something Trump has done tenfold is like yelling at someone for jaywalking while ignoring the guy doing donuts in a monster truck on the freeway.
Now, don’t get me wrong—Joe Biden is far from perfect. He’s like your well-meaning but slightly clumsy grandpa who tries to fix your Wi-Fi by unplugging your toaster. He’ll make mistakes; he’ll say weird things; he’ll probably sniff one too many heads at public events. But at least his heart seems to be in the right place. He’s not out there trying to overthrow democracy or sell state secrets to the highest bidder.
So let’s put things into perspective, shall we? If you’re going to criticize Joe Biden for pardoning his son, fine—but at least be consistent. Don’t turn a blind eye to Trump’s greatest hits album of scandals while pretending that Hunter Biden is Public Enemy No. 1.
In conclusion, let’s stop treating politics like it’s an episode of *The Real Housewives* and start focusing on what actually matters—like fixing healthcare, addressing climate change, and figuring out why every streaming service now costs as much as cable used to. And if Joe Biden does pardon his son? Well, let’s save our outrage for something that actually impacts our lives—like why airlines still charge extra for legroom.
Until then, stay witty, my friends!
Big Education Ape: WHY JOE BIDEN SHOULD ISSUE A BLANKET PARDON FOR HIS ADMINISTRATION https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2024/11/why-joe-biden-should-issue-blanket.html
