ELON MUSK: THE GRINCH THAT STOLE TWITTER
Ah, the holiday season is upon us, and while most of us are busy decking the halls with boughs of holly, one man is busy decking Twitter (or should I say X?) with chaos and confusion. Yes, folks, Elon Musk, the tech mogul turned social media overlord, has officially cemented his role as the Grinch who stole Twitter. And no, he didn’t just sneak in at night to take your hashtags and retweets—he’s done it in broad daylight, algorithmically throttling links and leaving us all scratching our heads.
Let’s dive into this wild tale of how Elon Musk managed to turn Twitter into a dystopian Dr. Seuss story. Spoiler alert: there’s no Cindy Lou Who to save the day, but there *are* a lot of frustrated users wondering why their links are getting buried faster than last year’s New Year’s resolutions.
The Grinch’s Master Plan: Throttling Links
Once upon a time, in a faraway land called Twitter (before it got rebranded with a single letter, because apparently vowels are overrated), users could post links to their hearts’ content. News articles, blog posts, cat videos—you name it. But then came the Grinch, I mean Elon Musk, who decided that links were *so* last season.
Musk recently admitted that X’s algorithm throttles posts containing links. Why? Because links are apparently the Ebenezer Scrooge of social media—they take users’ attention away from the platform. And we can’t have that now, can we? After all, why let people leave X to read a news article when they can stay and scroll through cryptic tweets about Dogecoin?
Instead of sharing links, Musk suggests users describe the content in their posts. That’s right—he wants you to become your own personal news anchor. Forget copy-pasting a link; now you’ve got to summarize the entire article in 280 characters or less. It’s like writing a haiku for every piece of content you want to share.
The Rise of the News Influencers
But wait, there’s more! In this brave new world of linkless content, a new breed of social media personality has emerged: the *news influencer*. These are the folks who discuss news without ever directing you to the original source. It’s like playing a game of telephone but with global headlines.
“Did you hear about that thing happening in that place with those people? Crazy stuff!” says the news influencer, who then racks up likes and retweets without ever providing a shred of context or evidence. It’s infotainment at its finest—or worst, depending on how much you value actual journalism.
Meanwhile, platforms like Bluesky (a Twitter alternative) are trying to embrace links and the open web. But even their algorithms can’t help but suppress link posts because, let’s face it, links are like fruitcake—nobody really wants them.
A Lesson from Kris Kringle
Now, let’s take a moment to reflect on a different kind of holiday story—one that involves a jolly old man with a white beard who *actually* knew how to make people happy. No, not Elon Musk (he’d probably replace Santa’s sleigh with a Tesla Cybertruck). I’m talking about Kris Kringle from *Miracle on 34th Street*.
In the movie, Kris refuses to give in to commercialism and instead prioritizes helping customers find what they truly need—even if it means sending them to another store. Can you imagine if Elon Musk took this approach?
Picture it: Elon logs onto X and says, “Hey everyone, if you’re looking for better social media features, check out Bluesky or Threads!” Yeah, that’ll happen right after pigs fly and Tesla releases a car that doesn’t need a software update every other week.
Kris Kringle understood something that Elon seems to have missed: putting people first creates loyalty. By being genuinely helpful and not just chasing profits (or engagement metrics), you earn trust. But alas, in Musk’s world of algorithmic antics and link suppression, trust is about as rare as a PS5 in stock during Black Friday
The Spirit of Christmas (and Social Media)
So what can we learn from this holiday mashup of *The Grinch* and *Miracle on 34th Street*? For starters, maybe it’s time to rethink how we approach social media. Instead of throttling links and encouraging vague “native content,” platforms could focus on being genuinely helpful—like Kris Kringle himself.
Imagine a social media platform where users are encouraged to share valuable information without fear of being buried by an algorithm. A place where links are celebrated for connecting people to knowledge rather than treated like unwelcome guests at a holiday party.
And hey, if Elon Musk wants to play the Grinch, that’s fine—every good story needs a villain. But here’s hoping that one day his heart grows three sizes and he realizes that social media should be about connecting people, not just keeping them glued to their screens.
In Conclusion
As we wrap up this festive tale of Elon Musk: The Grinch Who Stole Twitter, let’s remember the true meaning of the season—whether it’s Christmas or just another Tuesday on X. It’s about connection, generosity, and maybe even sharing a link or two without fear of being shadow-banned.
So this holiday season, let’s channel our inner Kris Kringle instead of our inner Elon Grinch. Be helpful. Be kind. And for the love of all things merry and bright, don’t throttle links—it’s just not very festive.
Happy holidays, everyone! May your tweets be merry and your links be clickable. 🎄
Musk admits X throttles links as ‘news influencers’ take over https://wapo.st/4eVX8Od
PS BLUESKY LOVES LINKS
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