One of Our Schools is Missing, Actually Several
(A Jen Hogue Star Trek Parody)
Teacher's log, star date 2014.1. A cosmic cloud of charters has been cataclysmically crowding into the fringes of our public-school system. The U.S.S. Enterprise, owing to its proximity to the core of the disturbance, has been sent by Starfleet command to investigate. We are presently situated in the Eva "Success" System, which currently threatens Districts 1,3,7,12 and 30 in our Federation.
SULU: We should intercept the cloud of charters in the vicinity of International HS.
SPOCK: My instruments are measuring the cosmic cloud as extremely well-funded, I mean of enormous size.
John D.O.E.: (wearing a red shirt) Look at its pretty colors.
KIRK: It is presently engulfing International HS. Reading, Spock?
SPOCK: Most curious, Captain. It emits a peculiar mixture of gaseous chemicals,