THE FINAL DAYS OF DONALD TRUMP

The Final Days of Donald Trump

By 2027, Donald J. Trump—a former president, real estate mogul, and TV loudmouth turned Leavenworth inmate—had solidified his unglamorous new gig: top hoarder of prison Jell-O. Occupying Cell 45B, his twenty-two year sentence stemmed from the infamous "Blue State Clearance Crisis," where, as alleged, he’d tried to auction off liberal strongholds (my occasional NYC hangouts included) to none other than Putin—all for a lifetime supply of some bizarre golden-gloss vodka. The details only got messier—or perhaps just funnier—or even sadder over time...

Once upon a time... In the dimly lit confines of Cell 45B at Leavenworth Federal Prison, Donald J. Trump—former President, real estate mogul, reality TV star, and self-proclaimed "best dealmaker in history"—sat on a bunk that squeaked each time he shifted his considerable weight. It was 2027, two years into his sentence for what historians would later call "The Great Blue State Sell-Off." The charge? Selling all the blue states to Vladimir Putin in exchange for a lifetime supply of Trump Vodka (which no one drank) and a dacha on the Black Sea (which he never got to use).  

Trump, however, had his own version of events: "It was the greatest deal ever made. Tremendous. Everyone was saying so. I mean, who really needs California? All those liberals with their Teslas and kale smoothies. And New York? Overrated. Sad!"  

His cellmate, Carl "The Hammer" Jenkins, a burly man with tattoos of questionable spelling choices, rolled his eyes for the fifth time that morning. "Donny, you’ve been saying that for two years. Give it a rest. We’ve got bigger problems—like how to smuggle an extra Jell-O cup from the cafeteria without getting shanked."  

But Trump wasn’t listening. He was too busy dictating his memoirs to an imaginary ghostwriter. "Call it *The Art of the Steal*. No, wait—*The Art of the Comeback: Prison Edition*. Or maybe *How to Win Bigly Even When They’re Totally Unfair to You*. What do you think, Hammer?"  

"The Hammer thinks you should shut up before I use this spoon for something other than eating," Carl grumbled.  

Unfazed, Trump continued. He had a captive audience (literally), and he wasn’t about to waste it. "You know, they said I couldn’t do it. They said I couldn’t sell Oregon to Putin. But I did. And it was beautiful. The best sale in history. Better than Louisiana Purchase—way better. Jefferson? Amateur hour compared to me."  

Carl sighed deeply and turned his attention back to his crossword puzzle, which he had been working on for three days because "spelling is hard."  

Meanwhile, across the prison yard, a group of inmates were huddled around a makeshift chessboard fashioned out of cardboard and bottle caps. They called themselves "The Blue State Survivors," a coalition of former Californians, New Yorkers, and Oregonians who had been particularly peeved about the whole "selling their states to a foreign autocrat" thing.  

"Did you hear?" one of them whispered. "Trump’s planning to run for Warden in the next prison election."  

"Of course he is," another replied. "He’s already calling it 'Stop the Shank.' Claims the cafeteria meatloaf is rigged."  

Back in Cell 45B, Trump was deep into his afternoon routine: writing letters to world leaders who had long since stopped responding. "Dear Kim Jong-un," he scribbled on a piece of toilet paper (the only stationary available after the prison banned him from office supplies). "Remember when we fell in love? I could really use some help here. Maybe send Dennis Rodman with a file baked into a cake? Best regards, your favorite American."  

At 3 p.m., it was time for his daily press conference—a tradition he had started on Day One of his incarceration. Standing on an overturned mop bucket in the corner of the yard, Trump addressed an audience of three disinterested pigeons and one guy named Larry who only showed up because he thought there might be snacks.  

"Folks, let me tell you," Trump began, gesturing wildly with his hands. "This prison is a disaster. The walls? Weak. The food? Terrible! The warden? Total loser. If I were in charge, we’d have gold-plated bars and steak dinners every night. Believe me."  

Larry raised his hand. "Uh, Mr. Trump, you *are* in prison because you sold half the country to Russia."  

"Fake news!" Trump shot back. "I didn’t sell half the country—I sold *all* the blue states! And they were failing anyway. I saved America billions by getting rid of them! You should be thanking me."  

The pigeons cooed in what could only be interpreted as mild disdain. Larry wandered off in search of a vending machine that didn’t exist.  

As evening fell over Leavenworth, Trump retreated to his cell to watch reruns of *The Apprentice* on a contraband DVD player smuggled in by Carl (who had connections). "You’re fired," Trump muttered nostalgically as he watched himself dismiss another hapless contestant on screen.  

Carl shook his head and climbed onto the top bunk. "You know, Donny, for a guy who claims to be the greatest at everything, you sure ended up here like the rest of us schmucks."  

Trump smiled smugly. "That’s where you’re wrong, Hammer. I’m not like the rest of you schmucks—I’m a political prisoner! A martyr for freedom! The greatest martyr since...well, probably ever."  

Carl snorted. "Yeah, okay, Donny. Whatever helps you sleep at night."  

And as the lights dimmed in Cell 45B, Trump drifted off to sleep dreaming of gold-plated toilets, adoring crowds chanting his name, and a future where he would once again Make Prison Great Again.  

Somewhere in Moscow, Vladimir Putin sipped vodka from a crystal glass and chuckled as he gazed at a map of his newly expanded empire. "Best deal I ever made," he murmured to himself before turning back to his game of chess with Dennis Rodman.

The Final Days of Donald Trump: Hunter Biden's Account

By 2027, Donald J. Trump—a former president, real estate mogul, and TV loudmouth turned Leavenworth inmate—had solidified his unglamorous new gig: top hoarder of prison Jell-O. Occupying Cell 45B, his twenty-two year sentence stemmed from the infamous "Blue State Clearance Crisis," 

THE ACTUAL NEWS OF THE DAY

HOUSE REPUBLICANS' SPENDING PLAN OR A POWER GRAB FOR PRES. MUSK/TRUMP AND SENATE DEMS ROLLING OVER https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2025/03/house-republicans-spending-plan-or.html 

HOUSE REPUBLICANS' SPENDING PLAN OR A POWER GRAB FOR PRES. MUSK/TRUMP AND SENATE DEMS ROLLING OVER

HOUSE REPUBLICANS' SPENDING PLAN OR A POWER GRAB FOR PRES. MUSK/TRUMP AND SENATE DEMS ROLLING OVER

Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round as we dissect the latest episode of America’s favorite political reality show, *“Who Can Outmaneuver Whom?”* In this week’s drama, House Republicans have unveiled their spending plan, a pièce de résistance of fiscal theatrics that seems custom-designed to benefit two particular billionaires: Donald Trump and Elon Musk. Oh, and spoiler alert—Senate Democrats caved faster than a sandcastle at high tide. Let’s dive in.

What’s in the Continuing Resolution (CR)?

The House Republicans’ spending plan, or as they like to call it, *“The Freedom Fiscal Fantasy Act,”* is their latest attempt to govern by ultimatum. It’s a continuing resolution (CR) that promises to keep the government running—but only if Democrats agree to some truly eye-popping cuts. Think of it as the political equivalent of saying, “We’ll fix the roof, but only if you let us burn down the kitchen first.”

So, what are these cuts? Well, brace yourselves. The CR proposes slashing funding for everything from education to healthcare to climate research. Yes, folks, the GOP is here to save America by making sure your kid’s school can’t afford textbooks, your grandma can’t afford her medication, and the planet can’t afford to keep existing. Bold strategy.

And then there’s the pièce de résistance: a provision that would gut funding for investigations into Donald Trump’s various legal escapades. Because nothing says “fiscal responsibility” quite like defunding the people trying to hold a former president accountable for, you know, *alleged crimes*. But wait, there’s more! The plan also includes tax breaks and incentives that seem tailor-made for Elon Musk’s empire of Teslas and Twitter meltdowns. Coincidence? Sure. And I’m the Queen of England.

Why Did the Senate Democrats Cave?

Now, let’s talk about the Senate Democrats, those brave warriors of progressive ideals—until someone waves a shutdown threat in their faces. Faced with the prospect of being blamed for a government shutdown (because apparently, Republicans have mastered the art of blame-shifting), Senate Democrats folded like a cheap lawn chair.

Their reasoning? Oh, it’s the classic *“We’ll fight another day”* strategy. You know, the one where they keep promising to stand up to Republican overreach but somehow always end up on the losing side. It’s almost impressive how consistently they manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

But let’s be fair. Maybe they were just tired. After all, it’s exhausting trying to govern responsibly when your colleagues across the aisle are treating Congress like a WWE wrestling ring. Or maybe they were distracted by Elon Musk’s latest X (formerly known as Twitter) rant about how billionaires are the real victims in society. Who can say?

A Power Grab Disguised as Governance

Make no mistake: this spending plan isn’t about fiscal responsibility or reducing the deficit. It’s about consolidating power and rewarding political allies. By gutting programs that help ordinary Americans while protecting Trump and Musk, House Republicans are sending a clear message: *“We’re here for the billionaires, not the plebeians.”*

And let’s not forget the timing. With Trump facing multiple indictments and Musk facing increasing scrutiny over his business practices (and his tweets), this CR feels less like a budget proposal and more like a lifeline for two men who really don’t need any more lifelines.

What Happens Next?

So where does this leave us? Well, if history is any guide, we’re heading for another round of brinkmanship, complete with dramatic speeches, late-night votes, and absolutely zero solutions for the American people. Because why fix problems when you can just blame the other party instead?

In the meantime, Trump will probably continue fundraising off his legal troubles (because nothing says “populist hero” like asking struggling Americans to fund your billionaire lifestyle), and Musk will likely keep tweeting through it all. Maybe he’ll even announce a new Tesla model that runs on taxpayer tears. The possibilities are endless.

The Bottom Line

At its core, this spending plan is less about governing and more about grandstanding. It’s a power grab disguised as fiscal policy, designed to benefit the few at the expense of the many. And while House Republicans are busy patting themselves on the back for their “bold leadership,” ordinary Americans are left wondering why their elected officials can’t seem to focus on, you know, *actually solving problems*.

As for Senate Democrats? Well, maybe next time they’ll find their spines before they cave. Or maybe not. Either way, stay tuned for the next episode of *“As Congress Turns.”* It’s sure to be as infuriating—and entertaining—as ever.

Here are the key details regarding the 2025 Continuing Resolution (CR) based on available information:

1. Nondefense Funding Reductions

• $15 billion cut relative to fiscal year 2025 levels outlined in the Fiscal Responsibility Act. This impacts areas like education, infrastructure, and social services 2.
• $13 billion reduction compared to the previous year’s nondefense spending 3. The discrepancy likely stems from differing baselines (FY2025 planned levels vs. prior-year actual spending).

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2. Defense Spending Adjustments

• $3 billion decrease compared to FY2025 defense funding projections in the Fiscal Responsibility Act 2.
• $6 billion increase in defense spending relative to the previous year’s allocation 3. This suggests a net rise in defense funding year-over-year but a cut against the originally planned FY2025 budget.

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3. Economic and Revenue Implications

• The Congressional Budget Office (CBO) estimates $66 billion in reduced federal revenues over FY2025–2034 due to projected economic downturns 4. This could exacerbate fiscal pressures from the CR’s spending cuts.

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4. Healthcare Policy Extensions

• The CR avoids a government shutdown by extending funding through March 14, 2025, and preserves certain expiring healthcare policies (e.g., Medicare/Medicaid provisions) 5.

Additional Context

- The Senate passed the bill hours before the March 14 deadline to avert a partial shutdown [4].

- The CR reflects broader debates over fiscal priorities, balancing defense needs with domestic program reductions.

For further details, refer to the [House Appropriations summary] 

Committee Releases Bill to Keep Government Open, Working for the American People | House Committee on Appropriations - Republicans https://appropriations.house.gov/news/press-releases/committee-releases-bill-keep-government-open-working-american-people 

or [CRFB analysis]

What's in the House's Full-Year Continuing Resolution?-2025-03-11 https://www.crfb.org/blogs/whats-houses-full-year-continuing-resolution