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Thursday, May 5, 2011

I Felt Bloated on Saturday | Mr. Teachbad's Blog of Teacher Disgruntlement

I Felt Bloated on Saturday | Mr. Teachbad's Blog of Teacher Disgruntlement

I Felt Bloated on Saturday

That’s how it started. And I was tired. It was even more difficult than normal to perform the menial and tedious job-related chores I had brought home for a beautiful Saturday morning.

But my wife and I went to a benefit auction and dinner on Saturday night, as planned. No problem. And after that we went to see our friend’s band, as planned. It was in this unfortunate venue that the real trouble began.

Knock-Knock
Who’s there?
Sal
Sal who?
Salmonella!!

That’s right, folks. Salmonella. I recommend, in the strongest terms, not getting salmonella if you are able. It is a top-shelf, lower-GI affliction with all the worst your body has to offer in sight, smell and sound. But that’s not all! Salmonella also includes fever, nausea, sweating, headache, chills, muscle soreness and difficulty standing!

SALMONELLA!!! Yeah!

So, how do you think I got it?

Raise your hand if you said chicken…Yeah. Almost everybody. That’s what I would have said, too. But no. The