Big Education Ape: DING DONG DONNY: Read: Full text of Trump indictment in Jack Smith's 2020 election, Jan. 6 probe #TrumpIndictment

Tuesday, August 1, 2023

DING DONG DONNY: Read: Full text of Trump indictment in Jack Smith's 2020 election, Jan. 6 probe #TrumpIndictment

DING DONG DONNY

Read: Full text of Trump indictment in Jack Smith's 2020 election, Jan. 6 probe

Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you breaking news: Ding dong, the witch is dead! That's right, the former president has been indicted in the special counsel's election interference investigation. And let me tell you, the internet is having a field day with this one.

Twitter is blowing up with reactions, ranging from "Lock him up!" to "I can finally sleep at night." It's like the whole world just let out a collective sigh of relief. I mean, let's be real, the past four years have been a bit of a dumpster fire. And that's putting it lightly.

But now, we can all rest easy knowing that justice is being served. And honestly, it couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. I mean, have you seen his tweets? It's like they were written by a toddler who got their hands on a phone. And don't even get me started on his hair. I'm pretty sure it's made out of cotton candy and lies.

But let's not forget the real reason why he's being indicted: election interference. It's like he forgot that we live in a democracy and not a dictatorship. Newsflash, buddy: you can't just do whatever you want and expect to get away with it. The American people deserve better than that.

And speaking of the American people, I think it's safe to say that we're all feeling a little bit better today. It's like a weight has been lifted off of our collective shoulders. We can finally go back to living our lives without constantly worrying about what kind of nonsense he's going to pull next.

So here's to justice being served and the witch being dead. May we never have to deal with someone like him again. And if we do, well, at least we know that we can come together as a country and say "not today, Satan."