Your Last Standardized Test Ever
by John Merrow
Are you upset about all the tests—State tests, the new Common Core tests, the SAT and the ACT and on and on? Well, if you answer every question on this test correctly, this will be the last standardized test you will ever have to take in your life. You will never have to take another one of these tests. Imagine that.
However, the stakes are high. Question #19 requires you to name the last place in the world that you would ever want to live. If you do not answer every question correctly, you will have to move there.
You will have just 10 minutes to complete the test. That’s right, only 10 minutes. That’s not a lot of time, but don’t panic. Staying calm is absolutely essential.
Follow these directions carefully: Read the entire test through completely before answering any questions. Then take the test. For questions #2-18 and question #20, cross out the incorrect answers completely, leaving only the correct answer. Because our machines will be scoring your paper, we suggest using a #2 pencil. You may use a #3 or #4 pencil if you wish. Using a #1 or a #6 pencil is no