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Thursday, November 15, 2012

Preschool aggression: Tips for helping the bullies and the bullied | OregonLive.com

Preschool aggression: Tips for helping the bullies and the bullied | OregonLive.com:


Preschool aggression: Tips for helping the bullies and the bullied

A child who is aggressive and a child who is submissive both need to build the emotional muscle that helps them navigate the snake pit that is preschool.

meangirls.JPGView full sizeFrom left, Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert and Amanda Seyfried portrayed three high school friends in the "Plastics" clique in the 2004 movie, "Mean Girls."
Remember the movie, Mean Girls? Back before 30 Rock made Tina Fey a household name and before fame turned Lindsay Lohan into a punchline?
Well, picture Mean Girls, mini-me edition. Instead of Queen Bee Regina forbidding Gretchen to wear hoop earrings because they are *her* thing, you have one preschooler taunting another that "I'm not inviting you to my birthday party." 
It might not seem all that serious. I mean, it's not what you would call "bullying," right?
Wrong, says Kerry Kelly Novick, a child and adolescent psychoanalyst, and co-author with her husband of "Emotional Muscle: Strong Parents, Strong Children." Bullying can in fact occur among young children and isn't something that kids will just grow out of, she said. "They need grown-up help."
It's not just girls, either. While girls will form cliques and exclude other girls, boys often engage in a more physical form of bullying, she said.
First things first. Why is this happening among kids so young?
Kids at this age are developing different skills at different speeds, said Dr. Ajit Jetmalani, head of child and adolescent psychiatry at OHSU Doernbecher Children's Hospital. Some may have