NORTH CAROLINA BUDGET: CUTS FUNDING TO PUBLIC SCHOOLS, CASTRATES NC BOARD OF EDUCATION, EXPANDS VOUCHERS
In a stunning display of fiscal acrobatics, North Carolina's Republican legislative leaders have unveiled their grand plan for the state's education system. Brace yourselves, folks, because this budget is a real knee-slapper.
First up on the comedy lineup, we have the raise in teacher salaries. Now, you might think that increasing the pay of these hardworking educators is a good thing. But oh no, not in MAGA Land! Instead of a substantial raise, they've decided to play a little game of hide and seek with the funds. They'll set base salaries for teachers, but then supplement them with local and state funds. It's like a magic trick – now you see the money, now you don't! Abracadabra, your paycheck just disappeared!
But wait, there's more! In a move that would make even the most seasoned stand-up comedian blush, they're expanding vouchers for private schools. Because why invest in public education when you can just throw money at private institutions? It's like going to a fancy restaurant and leaving a tip for the waiter, but forgetting to pay your own bill. Comedy gold!
And if you thought that was the punchline, hold onto your hats, folks. They're limiting the powers of the State Board of Education. Because who needs experts and professionals making decisions about education when you can just let politicians run the show? It's like hiring a plumber to fix your leaky faucet, but then telling them to stay away from the pipes. Hilarious!
But fear not, my friends, because there's a glimmer of hope in this budget. They're expanding eligibility for the NC Teaching Fellows scheme. Yes, they're actually acknowledging that teachers need financial support. Of course, there's a catch – they have to teach in North Carolina public schools. It's like offering someone a delicious slice of cake, but only if they promise to eat their vegetables first. Classic!
And finally, the pièce de résistance of this comedy extravaganza – the budget does not restore a prior salary supplement for teachers who earn a master's degree. Because who needs advanced degrees when you can just rely on good old-fashioned common sense? It's like telling someone they don't need a driver's license because they've watched every episode of "Top Gear." Side-splittingly funny!
But wait, there's one more joke for the road. The state board of education can now withhold funding from charter schools. It's like giving someone a gift card to their favorite store, but then telling them they can only use it on Mondays between 2 and 3 PM. Utterly hilarious!
So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen – North Carolina's MAGA Legislature at its finest. With budget cuts, expanded vouchers, and castrated education, they've truly outdone themselves in the comedy department. Who needs laughter when you can have tears of frustration instead? Bravo!
NC budget to expand private school vouchers and strip power from State Board of Education | WUNC https://www.wunc.org/education/2023-09-20/2023-state-budget-schools-teachers-private-school-vouchers
