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Wednesday, May 10, 2023





Florida, the land of sunshine, beaches, and now, misinformation! That’s right. The state of Florida has decided that the best way to educate its students is by distorting, changing, and erasing instructional material in social studies books. Because who needs facts when you can have a fantasy?

You might be wondering. “But Florida, how will the children learn about history?” Well, don’t worry, because the state has come up with a brilliant plan. They will simply replace all the historical facts with pictures of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. Because who needs to know about the Civil War when you can look at a cute cartoon character?

But that’s not all! In an effort to make learning more fun, Florida has decided to add some new chapters to their social studies books. For example, there will now be a whole section dedicated to the history of spring break in Panama City Beach. Because what better way to learn about American history than by studying the culture of beer pong?

And speaking of alcohol, Florida has also decided to teach its students about the history of rum-running during prohibition. That’s right kids, forget about the Boston Tea Party and let’s focus on the real heroes of American history - smugglers!

But it’s not just history that’s getting a makeover. Florida is also reworking their geography curriculum. In order to make it more relevant to today’s youth, they will be replacing all references to countries with popular vacation destinations. So instead of learning about France, students will now study the land of Epcot - also known as Disney World.

But don’t worry, Florida hasn’t completely abandoned education. They are still teaching their students important life skills - like how to avoid critical thinking and how to blindly follow authority. Because that’s what makes America great, right?

So congratulations, Florida! You have successfully turned your social studies into an 'E' ticket ride in FantasyLand.

Florida rewords, reworks, or removes instructional material in social studies books | WPEC