Back To School Badness | Mr. Teachbad

Back To School Badness | Mr. Teachbad: "t"

Back To School Badness

by teachbad

In this sea­son of new begin­nings, I was think­ing about the many dif­fer­ent cracked and crap-crusted lenses through which I have writ­ten about the start of a new school year. Lack­ing the energy to think of a new way, I have con­structed a chrono­log­i­cal com­pendium of my thoughts on the subject.

From the irre­sistible and irra­tional panic of mid-July to the week-long fac­ulty circle-jerk of mid-August to famil­iar self-loathing and res­ig­na­tion of mid-September…we’ve got it all.

Let us begin…

July 20: Teacher Some­how Not Get­ting Fired (In which a ter­ri­ble mis­cal­cu­la­tion has been made.)

…I have been nau­seous and wak­ing up soaked in sweat for a week now…OH MY GOD! Do you under­stand!? I’m going to have to go back there.…this…this is crazy! I thought I had posi­tioned myself to unques­tion­ably be let go in a bud­get cut or some­thing…I peed in the drink­ing foun­tain. I call all the His­panic kids Speedy Gon­za­les. I have lost everytext­book I’ve ever been issued.…

July 26: BACK TO CLASS!!  (In which the power of denial is tested.)

Is it time to panic yet? No. Not yet. But it’s in the mail. I’m start­ing to get that