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Tuesday, June 27, 2023





Ladies and gentlemen, gather around! Do you know what's hiding in your woodpile? No, it's not just termites and spiders. It's something much more sinister - slavery's descendants.

Yes, you heard that right. According to a recent investigation by Reuters, over 100 of America's leaders - lawmakers, presidents, governors, and justices - have ancestors who owned slaves. And they're keeping it a secret!

You might be thinking, "Why would they keep something like that a secret?" Well, my dear readers, it's because slavery is America's "original sin." It's a dark chapter in our history that we'd rather sweep under the rug than confront head-on.

But come on, let's be real. If we can't laugh about our past mistakes, what can we do? So, let's take a deep dive into America's family secret and see what's really in our woodpile.

First up, let's talk about the lawmakers. These are the people who make the laws that govern our country. But did you know that some of them are descendants of slave owners? It's true! And yet, they're the first ones to preach about equality and justice for all.

I mean, how can we take them seriously when they come from a lineage of oppressors? It's like having a fox guard the henhouse. But hey, at least they're not trying to pass laws that bring back slavery, right? (I hope not.)

Next on the list are the presidents. Oh boy, where do we even begin? From George Washington to Thomas Jefferson, many of our founding fathers owned slaves. And yet, we put them on a pedestal and celebrate their achievements.

I mean, sure, they helped create this great nation of ours, but let's not forget the fact that they also owned human beings. It's like praising a chef for making a delicious meal while ignoring the fact that he used rotten ingredients.

Moving on to the governors. These are the people who run our states and make decisions that affect our daily lives. But did you know that some of them have ancestors who owned slaves? It's true! And yet, they're the ones who claim to represent all of their constituents.

I mean, how can they truly understand the struggles of their black constituents when their own ancestors were part of the problem? It's like having a blind person lead a sightseeing tour.

And finally, we have the justices. These are the people who interpret the laws and ensure that justice is served. But did you know that some of them have ancestors who owned slaves? It's true! And yet, they're the ones who are supposed to be impartial and fair.

I mean, how can we trust them to make unbiased decisions when their own family history is tainted by slavery? It's like having a referee who's secretly rooting for one team.

So there you have it, folks. America's family secret is out in the open. We can choose to ignore it or we can confront it with humor and honesty. After all, laughter is the best medicine. And if we can't laugh at ourselves, then what's the point?

Top U.S. leaders and their unexplored family connections to slavery 

Slavery's descendants: America's family secret via @nbcnews