Civility and the Steady Retreat from Truth – radical eyes for equity

Civility and the Steady Retreat from Truth – radical eyes for equity

Civility and the Steady Retreat from Truth

“I hope I live to see the day,” reads the subject line of an email I received a few days ago; the body continues: “That you are dead and rotting in hell along with your grandparents.”

This email arrived two days after another email posed two questions: “Did you really say those vile comments about Rush Limbaugh? Do you like civility or have you been misquoted?”

In the wake of Limbaugh’s death from cancer, conservatives and right-wing media have rushed to confront and chastise the incivility of anyone (especially professors) who expressed everything from glee to stating the facts around Limbaugh’s hate-mongering career, swamped with daily examples of mean-spiritedness, blatant racism, xenophobia, and misogyny.

In my own social media situation concerning Limbaugh, let me return to the two questions above. To whether or not I expressed “those vile comments” or if I have been misquoted, the answer is very complicated.

Of the handful-plus angry emails and voicemails I have received, a couple included my university president and other administrators (those annoying efforts at passive-aggressive intimidation); in one of those I can see the source of outrage at my claimed lack of civility since one email quoted from a right-wing media posting that in effect literally added words to my Tweet CONTINUE READING: Civility and the Steady Retreat from Truth – radical eyes for equity

Teacher Tom: Courtesy, Politeness, and Civility

Teacher Tom: Courtesy, Politeness, and Civility

Courtesy, Politeness, and Civility

I don't wear a mask because I'm afraid of getting the virus. I'm not even particularly worried about spreading the virus to other people because I'm careful and am tested regularly. No, I wear my mask without complaint because it is the civil thing to do, or as I usually think of it, I'm being polite because I know that some people are afraid. I wear my mask for the same reason I hold doors for people, give up my seat on the bus to, or say "please" and "thank you." It's courtesy, politeness, civility. It's kindness.

I don't ally myself with those who connect courtesy to the concept of "respect," because that word is too often used as a stand-in for the word "obey." I respect many people, people who have earned my respect, but I don't obey anyone, nor should you and nor should your children (although I'm always ready to agree). No, every act of courtesy is a small act of kindness that says, I see you. I recognize your humanity. It's about, in a small way, placing the needs, or the perceived needs, of another person ahead of your own. Waiting my turn, keeping my voice down in public places, giving way in traffic: I do all of these things at my own expense, not because I'm weak or passive or a sucker, but because they are the polite things to do. I don't expect anything in return for my acts of courtesy, although I know that more often than not, it will be paid forward.

We tend to think of courtesy as a kind of code, and it is, but not like the kind found in etiquette manuals with all sorts of arbitrary rights and wrongs. Rather, for me, it is the code from which civil society is written. It says, We are in this together, and every act of civility strengthens our bonds, not to mention, making life just a little more pleasant.

Courtesy, politeness, and civility are not anything we can teach. Children will never learn it through lectures, scolding, punishment, books, or worksheets (yes, there are courtesy worksheets). As with all the most important things, the habit of doing these small kindnesses for friends and strangers alike is learned through experience. If children are treated with courteously by the adults in their lives, when the adults in their lives are civil to them, children, in turn, adopt the habit of considering how their behaviors might impact others, even people who they don't know, and make the small, unilateral self-sacrifices that are the glory of every civil society.

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Teacher Tom: Courtesy, Politeness, and Civility

Norms, Ethics and Civility. Plus Education. | Teacher in a strange land

Norms, Ethics and Civility. Plus Education. | Teacher in a strange land

Norms, Ethics and Civility. Plus Education.

Early in 2016, when it became apparent that Donald Trump would be the Republican nominee for president, the question emerged: just what percentage of the population actually endorsed his brand of brash white nationalism? It always felt impossible that more than a small sliver of the country would honestly embrace (not just tolerate) his behaviors and proclamations.

A lot of us were counting on norms, ethics and civility—plus our historic institutions—to make a Trump presidency more like All Other Presidencies. Now we’ve seen how that turned out. Do we still get to call for reasonable and ethical behaviors?

There was a gut-wrenching piece in the Washington Post yesterday about a mask mandate in Mitchell, South Dakota. If there ever were a place where neighborly norms and civility ought to reign, where people would be willing to help others, it’s small-town South Dakota. A friend of mine used to live there. Her husband was a Methodist minister. If people in Mitchell were like Donna and Dick, they’d be masked up, washing their hands, and dropping food off on ill neighbor’s porches.

But it turns out that they’re not. In fact, many of them are adamantly anti-mask, anti-science. As beloved coaches and grandmothers are dying, they’re insisting on falsehoods. These people aren’t evil, and it’s wrong to dismiss them as dumb and worthless. They are still following community norms. It seems to me that what’s CONTINUE READING: Norms, Ethics and Civility. Plus Education. | Teacher in a strange land