SONGS FROM THE BILLIONAIRE PLAYBOOK BY TRUMP
MUSK AND THE DOGE DEVIL BOYS CHOIR
Ah, the sweet, familiar tune of billionaires dismantling public institutions. It’s like a greatest hits album that no one asked for but keeps getting played on repeat. If you’ve been paying attention over the years, you’ve probably already memorized the lyrics. First, they came for public education, and now, here come Musk’s Doge boys, whistling their way through the corridors of the federal government. Spoiler alert: the melody hasn’t changed. It’s still in the key of “D.”
Let’s break it down for those of you who may have missed the rehearsal:
1. Defund
This is where it all begins. Step one of the billionaire playbook is to cut off funding to a public institution, ensuring it slowly suffocates like a houseplant forgotten in a dark corner. No water, no sunlight, just the faint hope that someone might care enough to intervene. The goal here is simple: make the service so underfunded and dysfunctional that people start saying, “Well, maybe we’d be better off without it.”
Take public schools, for example. Remember when they were the cornerstone of the American Dream? A place where any kid, regardless of their zip code, could get a decent education? Yeah, billionaires looked at that and said, “Nah.” Instead, they starved schools of resources and then acted shocked when test scores dropped and classrooms started looking like a scene from *Mad Max: Chalkboard Edition*.
Now, the same strategy is being applied to federal agencies. Defund them just enough so they can’t do their jobs properly. Then sit back and wait for the complaints to roll in. It’s like ordering a pizza and then refusing to pay for delivery—when it never shows up, you blame the delivery guy.
2. Degrade
Once defunding has done its dirty work, it’s time to degrade the service further. Make sure what remains of the institution is so inefficient and frustrating that people begin looking for alternatives. This is where privatization starts to look like a knight in shining armor instead of the Trojan horse it really is.
Public education? “Oh, look at these failing schools,” they said. “Let’s open some shiny new charter schools!” Never mind that these charters often cherry-pick students and leave public schools to deal with the rest. And now, with federal agencies? “Oh, look at this inefficient bureaucracy,” they’ll say. “Let’s replace it with private contractors!” Never mind that those contractors charge three times more for half the work.
It’s a classic bait-and-switch: break something on purpose, then swoop in with a “solution” that conveniently lines your own pockets.
3. Demonize
Here’s where things get spicy. Once the institution is limping along on life support, it’s time to point fingers—not at the billionaires who orchestrated this mess but at the workers trying to hold it all together with duct tape and sheer willpower. Teachers? They’re lazy and overpaid! Government employees? They’re incompetent and corrupt!
This step is crucial because it shifts public anger away from the actual culprits and redirects it toward the people doing the hard work. It’s like blaming firefighters for not putting out a blaze fast enough after you’ve slashed their budget for hoses and water.
And don’t forget the anecdotes! Oh, how billionaires love a good anecdote. One lazy teacher, one corrupt government worker, one poorly handled case—and suddenly everyone in the system is painted with the same brush. It’s storytelling as propaganda, and boy, does it work like a charm.
4. Dismantle
Now comes the grand finale: dismantle what’s left of the institution and sell it off to the highest bidder. Public education? Privatized! Federal agencies? Outsourced! It’s capitalism’s version of a garage sale—except instead of used furniture, they’re selling off pieces of democracy.
And here’s the kicker: once everything is privatized, it doesn’t get better; it gets worse. Why? Because private companies aren’t in the business of serving the public; they’re in the business of making money. That means cutting corners, raising prices, and delivering as little as possible while maximizing profits. But by then, it’s too late—the public institution is gone, and there’s no going back.
The Propaganda Playlist
Of course, none of this would work without a killer soundtrack. And oh boy, do billionaires know how to crank up the volume on their propaganda machine. The key phrases are always catchy and easy to remember: “Failing schools,” “Bad teachers,” “Waste, fraud, and corruption.” Say them enough times—on TV, in newspapers, on social media—and they start to stick.
It doesn’t matter if these phrases are backed by facts (spoiler: they’re usually not). What matters is repetition. The more you hear them, the more you start to believe them. Throw in some slick commercials, a few cherry-picked statistics, and maybe even a heart-wrenching documentary or two, and voilà! You’ve got yourself a full-blown propaganda campaign.
And let’s not forget the role of social media in all this. Billionaires have figured out how to weaponize algorithms to amplify their message. One viral tweet about a “lazy teacher” or a “corrupt bureaucrat” can do more damage than a thousand op-eds ever could. It’s like playing propaganda on autoplay—and we’re all stuck listening to it whether we want to or not.
Don’t Hum Along
Here’s the thing about propaganda: it works best when you don’t realize it’s happening. Before you know it, you’re humming along to a tune you never meant to learn. You start thinking maybe public schools *are* failing or maybe government workers *are* incompetent—because you’ve heard it so many times that it feels true.
But here’s a little secret: you don’t have to sing along. You can hit pause on this billionaire playlist and start asking questions instead. Who benefits from defunding public institutions? Who profits when services are privatized? And who loses out in the end? (Hint: it’s usually us.)
So next time you hear someone humming that familiar tune about “waste” or “failure” or “corruption,” don’t join in. Instead, call out the billionaires behind the curtain—the ones orchestrating this symphony of destruction while pretending they’re just here to help. Because if we don’t stop them now, there won’t be any public institutions left to save—and no amount of catchy jingles will make up for that loss.
And remember: just because they’re billionaires doesn’t mean they’re geniuses—sometimes they’re just really good at buying airtime for bad ideas.
