BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin were sitting in a dimly lit room, the tension thicker than a bowl of Russian borscht.
"You’re absolutely crazy, Vlad!" Trump exclaimed, crossing his arms like a scorned prom queen. "This whole aerial assault thing? Not cool. Not classy. I can’t even look at you right now."
Putin smirked, sipping his tea. "Donald, you are... how do Americans say? Drama queen. Maybe emotional overload, da?"
Trump gasped, clutching his chest. "Emotional overload?! Me?! I’m the most stable genius you know!"
"Stable?" Putin chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "You change your mind more than weather in Moscow."
"Well, at least I don’t annex Crimea as if it’s a Black Friday sale!" Trump shot back, flipping his golden hair dramatically.
The room fell silent for a moment. "You know what, Vlad? I think we need a break," Trump said, his voice quivering. "This bromance is toxic."
Putin shrugged. "Fine. But you will miss me when you see Zelensky’s speeches. He is... how you say? Too much energy."
FINAL SCENE: A couple in a dramatic breakup argument**
Trump: You know what? I can’t deal with this anymore! You’re just *crazy*!
Putin: *Crazy*? Look who’s talking! You’re the one acting all *emotional*!
Trump: Emotional? I’m just passionate about not dating a dictator!
Putin: Passionate? More like *dramatic*! You’re like a soap opera waiting to happen!
Trump: At least I’m not plotting behind your back!
Putin: Plotting? Honey, I’m just playing chess while you’re stuck on checkers!
Trump: Chess? You mean manipulating everyone like a puppet?
Putin: Better than throwing tantrums like a spoiled child!
Trump: Spoiled? I’m the one who deserves better than your *crazy* antics!
Putin: Crazy? You’re the one who thinks Twitter is the answer to everything!
Trump: Oh, please! At least I’m not hiding in my bunker like some scared little tyrant!
Putin: Scared? I’m just strategic! Unlike you, who can’t even keep your stories straight!
Trump: Stories? You mean your *fairy tales*?
Putin: Fairy tales? At least I’m not the one living in a fantasy world!
Trump: Fine! If you think I’m *emotional*, then maybe we should just break up!
Putin: Good! I’m tired of your *melodrama*!
Trump: Great! Enjoy your *crazy* life without me!
Putin: Oh, I will! And I’ll make sure to keep it *strategic*!
Trump stormed out, muttering, "I should’ve swiped left on this relationship."
Meanwhile, somewhere in Kyiv, Zelensky was practicing his next fiery speech, blissfully unaware he was now the rebound guy.
Kremlin calls Trump 'emotional' after US president says Putin is 'crazy' https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4g2wz74jdzo
Kremlin calls Trump 'emotional' after US president says Putin is 'crazy'
### Key Points
- Donald Trump criticized Vladimir Putin, calling him "absolutely crazy" after Russia's largest aerial assault on Ukraine, which killed 13 people and involved 367 drones and missiles. The Kremlin dismissed Trump's remarks as "emotional overload."
- Russia launched another massive drone attack, killing 10 people, which Ukrainian President Zelensky described as politically motivated rather than militarily strategic.
- Germany's chancellor, Friedrich Merz, hinted at removing range limits on arms supplied to Ukraine, potentially including Taurus missiles, which could allow Ukraine to target Russian military positions.
- Trump expressed dissatisfaction with both Putin's actions and Zelensky's rhetoric, suggesting that Zelensky's statements were counterproductive.
- The US and Russia held discussions about a ceasefire, with Ukraine agreeing to a 30-day pause in fighting. However, Russia's stance appeared to involve delaying tactics.
- Despite diplomatic efforts, little progress has been made toward peace, with Russia still controlling about 20% of Ukraine's territory, including Crimea.
