THE PRIVATIZATION PLAYLIST
"HIGH HOPES" (OLIGARCH EDITION)
Welcome to the Billionaire Circus, the greatest show on Earth—or at least the most lavishly funded school board spectacle dark money can stage. In Los Angeles, hope isn’t a virtue; it’s a business model, finely tuned, aggressively leveraged, and routed through a maze of shell games. Every few years, the tent goes up again and a fresh parade of suit-clad “disruptors,” Broad Academy disciples, and ethically flexible miracle workers rolls into LAUSD, promising innovation, accountability, and just enough buzzwords to mask a stunning ignorance of how public schools actually work.
Backed by oligarch bankrolls and PowerPoint decks, they sing the same tired anthem: high hopes, sky-high returns, and no recollection of the last reformer’s spectacular exit—golden parachute and all. Forget classrooms; the real performance is a privatization pageant where charter schemes bloom, public coffers shrink, and the only guaranteed finale is another budgetary implosion. So cue the orchestra—corporate-sponsored, of course—and let the latest act begin.
THE PRIVATIZATION PLAYLIST: "HIGH HOPES" (OLIGARCH EDITION)
(A satirical parody of “High Hopes” — for the LAUSD Privatization Circus)
Apologies to the ants, Frank Sinatra and Jimmy Van Heusen
[Intro]
Next time you’re found
With your board vote bought and your PACs on the ground
There’s a lot to be burned
So look around
[Verse 1]
Just what makes that little old Broadie
Think he’ll fix up that whole public system?
Anyone knows a banker can’t
Run a school district plant
But he’s got high hopes
He’s got high hopes
He’s got high charter-school pie in the sky hopes
[Post-Chorus]
So anytime the test scores are low
’Stead of letting teachers know
Just remember that Broadie:
Oops, there goes another rubber-tree plant
Oops, there goes another iPad grant!
[Verse 2]
Once there was a silly old ram
Thought he’d punch a hole in the public dam
No one could make that ram scram
He kept buttin’ that dam
’Cause he had high hopes
He had high hopes
He had high Apple-Pearson pie in the sky hopes
[Post-Chorus]
So anytime you’re feelin’ mad
’Stead of feelin’ sad
Just remember that ram:
Oops, there goes another billion-dollar scam
Oops, there goes another FBI raid, ma’am!
[Bridge / Extra Verse]
Deasy had the iPads hacked in three days flat
Carvalho had the AI chatbot go ker-splat
Beutner brought the strike, the whole damn district flat
But the billionaires keep sending fresh new Broadies back
[Chorus (final)]
They’ve got high hopes
They’ve got high hopes
They’ve got high oligarch pie in the sky hopes
[Outro]
All problems just a toy balloon
They’ll be “disrupted” soon
They’re just bound to go — “Pop!”
Oops, there goes another superintendent: Kerplop!
Oops, there goes another golden parachute: Kerplop!
Oops, there goes the whole damn district: Kerplop!
(Fade out with billionaire laughter and distant FBI sirens)
