A TALE OF TWO KINGS: GEORGE III VS. KING TRUMP
A COMPARISON OF ROYAL DELUSIONS
Disclaimer: This is satire. Both kings would probably hate it. One because he couldn't read it through his madness, the other because it doesn't mention his electoral college victory enough times. For an actual story about Mad King Trump see the article by Paul Krugman on Substack (link below)
The Divine Right to Rule
King George III: Believed he ruled by divine right, appointed by God to govern the colonies whether they liked it or not.
King Trump: Believes he won by divine right, appointed by ratings to govern America whether the votes liked it or not. "Nobody has a better relationship with God than me, believe me."
Relationship with Reality
King George III: Suffered from episodes of madness, possibly due to porphyria. Talked to trees, thought he was married to Lady Pembroke.
King Trump: Suffers from episodes of "alternative facts." Talks to Fox News, thinks he's married to the Constitution (it's complicated).
Taxation Troubles
King George III: "No taxation without representation!" cried the colonists. George: "How about taxation WITH representation? No? Fine, have some tea."
King Trump: "No taxation for corporations!" cried the billionaires. Trump: "Done. Also, here's a tax cut. You're welcome. The middle class? They love paying taxes, tremendous people."
Revolutionary Opposition
King George III: Faced George Washington leading a ragtag revolutionary army.
King Trump: Faces George Soros leading a ragtag revolutionary... wait, no, that's just a conspiracy theory. Faces actual journalists asking actual questions.
The Stamp Act vs. The Tweet Act
King George III: Imposed the Stamp Act—every document must bear the royal stamp!
King Trump: Imposed the Tweet Act—every thought must bear the royal typo! "Covfefe" is the new "taxation without representation."
Colonial Grievances
King George III: Dissolved representative houses repeatedly. Obstructed the administration of justice. Kept standing armies without consent.
King Trump: Dissolved representative norms repeatedly. Obstructed the administration of... well, his own administration. Kept standing ovations without earning them.
Foreign Alliances
King George III: Hired Hessian mercenaries to fight Americans. Everyone thought this was a betrayal.
King Trump: Hired the best people (1st term, who later wrote tell-all books). Everyone thought this was a Tuesday.
The Press
King George III: Controlled information through royal proclamations and limited press freedom.
King Trump: Controls information through Truth Social after getting kicked off Twitter. "I AM the press freedom!"
Loss of Territory
King George III: Lost the American colonies. Embarrassing, but at least he kept Canada.
King Trump: Lost the popular vote. Twice. Embarrassing, but at least he kept Mar-a-Lago.
Monuments and Legacy
King George III: Has statues that were torn down by angry colonists and melted into bullets.
King Trump: Has statues of himself he commissioned. Angry colonists... I mean, citizens... are still deciding what to do with them.
The Mad King's Court
King George III: Surrounded by yes-men and aristocrats who feared contradicting him.
King Trump: Surrounded by yes-men and aristocrats who feared being tweeted about. "You're fired!" is the new "Off with their heads!"
Famous Quotes
King George III: "Once vigorous measures appear to be the only means left of bringing the Americans to a due submission to the mother country."
King Trump: "I alone can fix it. Also, it was perfect. The most perfect. People are saying it's the most perfect thing they've ever seen."
The Boston Tea Party vs. The January 6th Soirée
King George III: Colonists threw tea into Boston Harbor in protest.
King Trump: Supporters threw... well, let's just say the Capitol needed a deep clean afterward.
Madness or Method?
King George III: Historians debate whether his madness was medical or political.
King Trump: Historians debate whether his method is madness or just really good reality TV.
The Final Verdict
King George III: Eventually went completely mad, was removed from power, and became a cautionary tale about monarchical overreach.
King Trump: Eventually went to... actually, this story is still being written. Check back in 2026 And 2028. And possibly 2032 if the Constitution becomes more of a suggestion.
Historical Footnote
The main difference? King George III had the excuse of actual mental illness and the 18th century's complete lack of understanding about democracy.
King Trump has Google.
The Mad King’s Madness Deepens Trump wants war, war and more war – even against Americans PAUL KRUGMAN https://paulkrugman.substack.com/p/the-mad-kings-madness-deepens
Donald Trump’s political situation is deteriorating, with low poll numbers and controversial actions aimed at bolstering his ego. The article critiques Trump's use of military and ICE force for personal validation, highlighting incidents like the abduction of Nicolás Maduro and the killing of Renee Nicole Good by an ICE agent. These actions, combined with his push for increased military spending, are portrayed as efforts to distract from political failures and manipulate public sentiment. The author warns Republicans, enablers, and those carrying out Trump’s directives of potential consequences and calls for accountability.
