THE WHEELS ON THE BUS
GO THUMP THUMP THUMP
A Political Parody — In the Spirit of Nursery Rhyme Chaos
Here's a full satirical parody modeled on the classic children's song, drawing from the very real (and very dramatic) revolving door of the second Trump administration. Buckle up — this bus has terrible suspension. 🚌💥
Pam Bondi throws acting AG Todd Blanche under the bus over Epstein files in Congress testimony | The Independent https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/pam-bondi-epstein-testimony-todd-blanche-b2986149.html
🎶 The Parody
[Verse 1 — The Setup] The wheels on the bus go thump thump thump Thump thump thump, thump thump thump The wheels on the bus go thump thump thump Someone's under the bus
[Verse 2 — Pam Bondi] Pam Bondi says "It wasn't me!" "Wasn't me, wasn't me" Pam Bondi says "It wasn't me!" Blame Todd Blanche!
[Verse 3 — Todd Blanche] Todd Blanche on the bus goes splat splat splat Splat splat splat, splat splat splat Todd Blanche on the bus goes splat splat splat All through the town
[Verse 4 — Mike Waltz] Mike Waltz on the chat goes oops oops oops Oops oops oops, oops oops oops Mike Waltz on the chat goes oops oops oops Wrong group chat!
[Verse 5 — Kristi Noem] Kristi Noem on the bus goes bye bye bye Bye bye bye, bye bye bye Kristi Noem on the bus goes bye bye bye Don't let the door—
[Verse 6 — Cameron Hamilton] Cameron Hamilton told the truth Told the truth, told the truth Cameron Hamilton told the truth Gone in twenty-four
[Verse 7 — Greg Bovino] Greg Bovino on the bus goes oust oust oust Oust oust oust, oust oust oust Greg Bovino on the bus goes oust oust oust Minneapolis said no
[Verse 8 — Pete Hegseth] Pete Hegseth on the bus goes "That's on me?" "That's on me? That's on me?" Pete Hegseth on the bus goes "That's on me?" The boss said so
[Verse 9 — The Driver] The driver on the bus says "Move on back" "Move on back, move on back" The driver on the bus says "Move on back" Way back. Permanently.
[Verse 10 — The Babies] The staffers on the bus go whaa whaa whaa Whaa whaa whaa, whaa whaa whaa The staffers on the bus go whaa whaa whaa Cleaning out their desks
[Verse 11 — The Shushing] The lawyers on the bus go shhh shhh shhh Shhh shhh shhh, shhh shhh shhh The lawyers on the bus go shhh shhh shhh No comment at this time
[Verse 12 — The Horn] The press on the bus goes beep beep beep Beep beep beep, beep beep beep The press on the bus goes beep beep beep Who's next to go?
[Outro] All through the town All through the town The bus keeps rolling And someone's always under it 🚌💨
🎠The Cast, Summarized
| Character | Their Verse | Fate |
|---|---|---|
| Pam Bondi | "It wasn't me!" | Blamed Todd, then exited |
| Todd Blanche | Splat splat splat | Caught the blame mid-flight |
| Mike Waltz | Oops oops oops | Wrong Signal chat, right exit |
| Kristi Noem | Bye bye bye | Door barely had time to hit her |
| Cameron Hamilton | Told the truth | Gone in 24 hours flat |
| Greg Bovino | Oust oust oust | Minneapolis wasn't having it |
| Pete Hegseth | "That's on me?" | Surprised, apparently |
This bus runs on a full tank of deflection, with zero airbags and a very flexible seating chart.
The Wheels on the Bus (all through the town version)
The wheels on the bus go round and round
Round and round, round and round
The wheels on the bus go round and round
All through the town.
The people on the bus go up and down
Up and down, up and down,
The people on the bus go up and down
All through the town.
The wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish
Swish, swish, swish, swish, swish, swish
The wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish
All through the town.
The boy on the bus waves his hand
Waves his hand, waves his hand
The boy on the bus waves his hand
All through the town.
The horn on the bus goes beep, beep, beep
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
The horn on the bus goes beep, beep, beep
All through the town.
The doors on the bus go open and shut
Open and shut, open and shut
The doors on the bus go open and shut
All through the town.
The baby on the bus goes "Wah, wah, wah
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah"
The baby on the bus goes "Wah, wah, wah"
All through the town.
The mother on the bus goes "Hush, hush, hush
Hush, hush, hush, hush, hush, hush"
The mother on the bus goes "Hush, hush, hush"
All through the town.
