THE GREAT DEBATE: TRUMP'S LIES VS. TRUMP'S POTTY MOUTH
A SCIENTIFIC INVESTIGATION INTO WHICH CIRCLE OF HELL WE'RE ACTUALLY IN
A Satirical Exploration of America's New Normal
Introduction: Welcome to the Upside Down
Remember the good old days when a presidential candidate's campaign could be torpedoed by an ill-timed "BYAAAH!" or a misspelled "potatoe"? When catching a president in a lie about anything more serious than a campaign promise was career-ending? When the phrase "presidential decorum" wasn't considered a punchline?
Yeah, me neither. Those days are as dead as George Carlin's list of seven words you can't say on television.
Speaking of which, Carlin's iconic 1972 routine identified seven forbidden broadcast words: "shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits." Fast forward to 2025, and we're down to maybe three words that'll get you bleeped—though I'm genuinely uncertain about "tits" at this point. Meanwhile, our former (and possibly future) president has turned press conferences into episodes of The Sopranos, complete with misogynistic attacks on female reporters, a torrent of profanity that would make a longshoreman blush, and lies so brazen they come with their own video evidence of contradiction.
And the MAGA nation's response? "Oh, that's just Trump being Trump! LOL!"
So here we are, faced with a question that would've seemed absurd to our grandparents: Which is worse—Trump's pathological lying or his potty mouth? Has "truth, justice, and the American way" been replaced with "alternative facts, insults, and whatever gets clicks"?
Let's take a scientific approach to this dumpster fire, shall we?
Part I: The Scientific Case for Why Lies Are Worse Than Profanity
Hypothesis 1: Lies Erode Democratic Foundations; Curse Words Just Hurt Pearl-Clutchers' Feelings
The Cognitive Damage Factor
When a president lies—especially when video evidence exists proving he's lying—he's not just being naughty. He's engaging in what psychologists call "gaslighting" on a national scale. Studies show that repeated exposure to misinformation creates "illusory truth effect," where people begin to believe false information simply because they've heard it repeatedly.
Profanity, on the other hand? It's been scientifically proven to be a pain reliever, stress reducer, and indicator of honesty. Research from Maastricht University found that people who swear are perceived as more genuine and trustworthy. So when Trump drops an F-bomb, he might actually be at his most authentic—which is terrifying in its own right.
Pros of Lies:
- Create alternative realities where you're always winning
- Require creative thinking (see: "mental gymnastics")
- Build strong echo chambers that boost social cohesion among believers
- Excellent for avoiding accountability
Cons of Lies:
- Destroy shared reality necessary for democracy
- Erode institutional trust
- Make fact-checkers suicidal
- Eventually require you to remember what you lied about (exhausting!)
- Undermine national security when allies can't trust your word
- Create precedent that truth doesn't matter
Pros of Potty Mouth:
- Demonstrates authenticity and passion
- Releases stress (for the speaker, anyway)
- Creates memorable soundbites
- Shows you're "not a politician" (apparently a selling point now)
- Connects with voters who also enjoy creative profanity
Cons of Potty Mouth:
- Offends grandmas and Sunday school teachers
- Sets poor example for children (who are learning it on TikTok anyway)
- Violates traditional presidential decorum
- Makes diplomacy awkward
- Gives pearl-clutchers something to clutch
Scientific Verdict: Lies are objectively worse. A president who swears but tells the truth can be crude but effective. A president who lies constantly while also swearing is basically a mob boss with nuclear codes.
Part II: The Scientific Case for Why Potty Mouth Is Worse Than Lies
Hypothesis 2: Words Normalize Violence; Lies Are Just... Expected Now?
The Desensitization Argument
Here's where it gets interesting. While lies damage our relationship with truth, profanity—especially when weaponized against women, minorities, and reporters—normalizes aggression and dehumanization. When a president calls a female reporter a [REDACTED] or tells a critic to go [REDACTED] themselves, he's not just being vulgar. He's giving permission to millions of followers to do the same.
Studies on the "Werther Effect" show that public figures' behavior influences mass behavior. After Trump's election, the Southern Poverty Law Center documented a spike in hate incidents, with perpetrators explicitly citing Trump's rhetoric. His potty mouth isn't just colorful language—it's a permission slip for America's id.
Pros of Potty Mouth:
- (Struggling here, folks)
- Um... demonstrates you have a pulse?
- Proves you're not a robot (looking at you, Zuckerberg)
Cons of Potty Mouth:
- Normalizes verbal abuse
- Degrades public discourse
- Encourages followers to imitate behavior
- Particularly harmful when directed at vulnerable groups
- Makes international diplomacy a minefield
- Teaches children that bullying is presidential
Pros of Lies:
- Everyone expects politicians to lie anyway (sad but true)
- Can be fact-checked and debunked
- Don't directly assault people's dignity
- Sometimes protect feelings ("No, honey, that dress looks great!")
Cons of Lies:
- Everything listed in Part I
- Also, they're lies
Scientific Verdict: The potty mouth is worse when it's used as a weapon of intimidation and dehumanization, particularly against women and minorities. The issue isn't the words themselves—it's the malicious intent and power dynamics behind them.
Part III: The Unholy Union—When Lies AND Profanity Join Forces
The Synergy of Awfulness
Here's the real kicker: We don't have to choose! Trump gives us both, often in the same sentence. It's like asking whether you'd prefer to be punched in the face or kicked in the groin, and Trump responds, "Why not both?"
Consider this typical Trump press conference scenario:
- Attacks female reporter with misogynistic slur ✓
- Makes demonstrably false claim ✓
- Video evidence immediately surfaces contradicting claim ✓
- Doubles down on lie with more profanity ✓
- MAGA nation: "He tells it like it is!" ✓
The Scientific Analysis of Combined Effects:
When you mix lies with profanity, you get what psychologists call "aggressive deception"—a particularly toxic combination that:
- Overwhelms fact-checkers (too much to debunk)
- Normalizes both dishonesty AND verbal abuse
- Creates "firehose of falsehood" propaganda technique
- Exhausts opposition into apathy
- Dominates news cycles (mission accomplished)
Part IV: The George Carlin Principle—Words Matter, But Context Matters More
Carlin was right: "There are no bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions, and words!" The seven words he identified weren't inherently evil—they were arbitrarily censored based on puritanical discomfort with bodily functions and sexuality.
But here's what Carlin also understood: Words can heal or hurt depending on how you pick them. The same word can be:
- A term of endearment between friends
- A vicious slur meant to dehumanize
- A stress reliever when you stub your toe
- A weapon to intimidate and silence
Trump's potty mouth isn't problematic because he says "shit" (though George W. Bush got crucified for being caught on a hot mic saying it). It's problematic because he weaponizes language to:
- Demean women
- Mock disabled reporters
- Dehumanize immigrants
- Intimidate critics
- Incite violence
Similarly, Trump's lies aren't just the typical political spin. They're:
- Easily disprovable
- Repeated even after debunking
- Used to undermine democratic institutions
- Designed to create alternative reality
- Dangerous to national security
Part V: The "That's Just Trump" Defense—A Scientific Analysis of Normalized Deviance
The Boiling Frog Syndrome
Sociologists have a term for what's happened to American political discourse: "normalized deviance." It's when behavior that was once considered unacceptable gradually becomes the norm through repeated exposure.
NASA engineers warned about this before the Challenger disaster—O-ring failures that should've grounded the shuttle became "normal" because they'd happened before without catastrophe. Until they didn't.
The "That's Just Trump" defense is normalized deviance in action:
- 2015: "Did he really just mock a disabled reporter? Outrageous!"
- 2016: "Did he really just brag about sexual assault? Well, it was locker room talk..."
- 2017: "Did he really just lie about crowd sizes? Okay, that's weird..."
- 2018: "Did he really just call countries 'shitholes'? That's just Trump..."
- 2019: "Did he really just... ah, forget it, I'm exhausted."
- 2025: "Did he really just [REDACTED] on live TV? LOL, classic Trump!"
The Scientific Consequences:
- Desensitization: We no longer react to behavior that would've ended any other politician's career
- Whataboutism: Every criticism is deflected with "But what about...?"
- Tribal Identity: Defending Trump becomes part of in-group loyalty
- Reality Fragmentation: Different groups literally perceive different facts
- Democratic Erosion: Norms that protected democracy crumble
Part VI: Why Trump's Lies Are "Better" Than Truth—A Satirical Scientific Analysis
Let's revisit that brilliant satirical piece about why lies are superior to truth, because it perfectly captures Trumpian logic:
Credibility
Trump's lies are carefully designed to feel true to his base. "Mexico will pay for the wall!" sounds great—who cares if it's logically impossible? The truth—"Taxpayers will fund a wall that experts say won't work"—is complicated and depressing. Winner: Lies
Reliability
Truth is messy and unpredictable. Trump's lies are consistent: He's always winning, always the best, always the victim of unfair treatment. You can set your watch by them. Winner: Lies
Economy
Fact-checking requires research, expertise, and nuance. Lying requires only imagination and shamelessness. Trump can generate 50 lies in a single rally, while fact-checkers are still debunking lie #3. Winner: Lies
Value
Truth is free and available to everyone. Trump's lies are artisanal, hand-crafted alternative facts, often sold with merchandise! "MAGA hats: $25. Believing obvious lies to own the libs: Priceless." Winner: Lies
Respectability
Trump's lies have made him a billionaire (allegedly), president, and cult leader. Truth-tellers like whistleblowers get fired and death threats. Winner: Lies
Stability
As the satirical piece notes: Mix truth with lies, you get lies. Mix lies with truth, still lies. Trump has proven that lies are anti-fragile—the more you debunk them, the stronger his supporters believe. Winner: Lies
Imagination
"I won the election by the biggest landslide ever!" is much more creative than "I won the electoral college while losing the popular vote." Winner: Lies
Recognizability
People are so accustomed to Trump lying that when he accidentally tells the truth ("I could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue..."), people think he's joking or being hyperbolic. Winner: Lies
Supply and Demand
Trump has proven there's infinite demand for lies that make people feel good about their prejudices, fears, and resentments. Truth is a niche market for elitists and "fake news" consumers. Winner: Lies
Conclusion: The Verdict Is In (And It's Depressing)
So which is worse—Trump's lies or his potty mouth?
The Scientific Answer: Both are symptoms of the same disease—the complete abandonment of presidential norms, democratic values, and basic human decency.
The Practical Answer: The lies are worse because they undermine our shared reality and democratic institutions. You can't have democracy without truth.
The Cynical Answer: The potty mouth is worse because it's what finally offends some people who are somehow fine with the lying.
The Real Answer: We're asking the wrong question.
The fact that we're even having this debate—scientifically analyzing whether presidential lying or presidential profanity is worse—shows how far we've fallen. We're like passengers on the Titanic arguing about whether the iceberg or the cold water is the bigger problem.
George Carlin was right about words: They're powerful, they matter, and we should be careful with them. He was also right that arbitrary censorship of certain words is absurd when we ignore the real damage caused by how language is weaponized.
But here's what Carlin understood that we seem to have forgotten: The problem isn't the seven words you can't say on TV. The problem is when leaders use ANY words—clean or dirty—to deceive, dehumanize, and divide.
Trump's lies destroy our ability to agree on basic facts. His potty mouth normalizes cruelty and verbal abuse. Together, they create a toxic stew that poisons democratic discourse.
And when MAGA nation shrugs and says, "That's just Trump," they're not excusing bad behavior—they're announcing they've given up on expecting anything better.
Epilogue: Truth, Justice, and the American Way
Is "truth, justice, and the American way" still the American way?
Well, that depends on which America you're asking.
In one America, truth still matters, facts exist, and presidential behavior should reflect the dignity of the office.
In another America, "truth" is whatever makes you feel good, facts are negotiable, and presidential behavior is just entertainment.
The scientific conclusion? We're conducting a real-time experiment in whether democracy can survive when a significant portion of the population prefers comforting lies and entertaining profanity over uncomfortable truths and boring decorum.
So far, the results are... not encouraging.
But hey, at least we can say "tits" on TV now. Progress!
As George Carlin said: "I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal, it's a matter of how you pick them."
Trump picked his words. And we're all living with the consequences.
I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
Author's Note: This article contains satire, scientific analysis, and profound despair in equal measure. Side effects may include existential dread, nervous laughter, and the urge to move to Canada. Consult your therapist if symptoms persist beyond 2028.
