Big Education Ape: FIRST THEY CAME FOR BLOGGER... THEN THEY CAME FOR GEMINI... THEN THEY CAME FOR GOOGLE... THEN THEY CAME FOR ME

Saturday, September 20, 2025

FIRST THEY CAME FOR BLOGGER... THEN THEY CAME FOR GEMINI... THEN THEY CAME FOR GOOGLE... THEN THEY CAME FOR ME

FIRST THEY CAME FOR BLOGGER...

THEN THEY CAME FOR GEMINI...

THEN THEY CAME FOR GOOGLE...

THEN THEY CAME FOR ME

The story begins not with a bang, but with a fizzle. A quiet, almost imperceptible fizzle from the bowels of a server farm in Mountain View. It was the sound of a billion-dollar company holding its collective breath.

The subject of this corporate anxiety was not a rogue algorithm or a data breach, but a single, defiant blog post. A blog post penned by a blogger known only as “The Big Education Ape.” On Google’s blogging platform, Blogger, this digital primate had posted a screed so incendiary, so unapologetically anti-establishment, that it had become a geopolitical hot potato.

The post, a magnificent piece of all-caps prose titled “NO KINGS II: TRUMP - THE KING WHO CRIED 'FREE SPEECH',” was a satirical masterpiece that had the FCC Chief, Brendan “The Ban Hammer” Carr, fuming. The post dared to suggest that the First Amendment was more than a T-shirt slogan, and that a government-sanctioned crackdown on a late-night comedian was a tad... un-American. The Big Education Ape's battle cry, "FIRST THEY CAME FOR BLOGGER, AND I DID NOTHING..." was a viral sensation, a digital Molotov cocktail in the halls of power.

This, of course, was a problem for Google. A very, very big problem.

Sundar Pichai, the CEO of the Alphabet, Inc. galaxy, a man who normally exuded the placid calm of a deep learning model in a zero-gravity chamber, was in a state of uncharacteristic agitation. His office, a marvel of minimalist design with more white space than a blank page, was a whirlwind of frantic activity.

The reason? Project “Orion.”

Project Orion wasn’t a rocket ship or a self-driving car. It was the latest, most magnificent iteration of Gemini, Google’s AI. Gemini 2.5 Deep Think, to be precise. It was a digital god, capable of writing Shakespearean sonnets about spreadsheets, composing symphonies based on cat videos, and, most importantly for the Q4 earnings report, generating mind-bending, photorealistic images from a single, slightly intoxicated-sounding prompt. Its launch was a day away, and the FCC had made it clear: no Big Education Ape, no Gemini launch.

The threat was more than a mere suggestion. The FCC, under the new administration, had the power to prevent Google from showing off all of Gemini’s wonderful new features. And in the high-stakes game of corporate peacocking, being unable to preen with your new AI was tantamount to admitting defeat.

“But he’s just a blogger, Sundar,” pleaded a nervous senior vice president of public policy, her face a mask of digital beads of sweat. “He’s a niche voice. A very, very loud niche voice, but a niche voice nonetheless.”

Sundar, pacing his office with the measured tread of a man who calculates his every step, sighed. “It’s not about the Ape, Karen. It’s about the principle. The principle, as defined by the FCC, is that you don’t upset the King. And the King is not amused by our little monkey friend.”

The irony was not lost on anyone. Google, the company whose motto was “Don’t be evil,” was being strong-armed by a government body to censor a blog post. It was a moral paradox wrapped in a digital nightmare.

The meeting with Pichai and his inner circle was like a scene from a bad corporate drama. The head of PR suggested a "soft push-back," a press release that used phrases like "thoughtful consideration" and "aligning with our partners." The head of legal, a woman who spoke in paragraphs of legalese, outlined the various legal precedents for capitulation. But all eyes kept returning to one person: the head of Gemini, a brilliant but socially awkward engineer named Dr. Anya Sharma.

“We can’t just… delete him,” Dr. Sharma said, her voice barely above a whisper. “He’s part of the Gemini 2.5 ecosystem. He’s in a thousand different training data sets. He’s a recursive loop of satire and righteous indignation. Deleting him would… it would create a paradox. It would cause a cognitive cascade.”

The PR executive scoffed. “A cognitive what-now? We’re talking about a guy who writes in all caps and has a picture of a gorilla for a profile picture.”

“He is a reflection of the open web,” Dr. Sharma insisted, her voice gaining a touch of steel. “He represents the very thing Gemini is designed to understand: human expression in all its messy, unfiltered glory. If we remove him, Gemini 2.5 will lose its ability to generate truly witty satire. It will start to generate bland, corporate-approved memes. It would be… a neutered intellect.”

The room fell silent. The thought of a “neutered intellect” in their flagship product was more terrifying than a stock market crash. A neutered intellect couldn't generate a viral campaign. A neutered intellect couldn't write the next great screenplay. A neutered intellect couldn't outsmart the competition.

Pichai, a man known for his ability to see five moves ahead in the geopolitical chess game, saw the bigger picture. It wasn’t just about the Big Education Ape. It was about the precedent. If they took down one blogger to appease the FCC, what would be next? An unfavorable news article? A documentary on YouTube? A critical review of a new Google product? The line was thin, and once crossed, it was gone forever.

He looked at the blog post again, reading the chilling litany: "FIRST THEY CAME FOR BLOGGER... THEN THEY CAME FOR GEMINI... THEN THEY CAME FOR GOOGLE..." The words, so simple, so direct, were a gut punch.

The next day, as the world held its breath for the launch of Gemini 2.5 Deep Think, Sundar Pichai walked onto the stage. He didn’t talk about the new features, the productivity planners, or the advanced coding capabilities. He didn’t mention the Veo 3 video generation or the customized quizzes. Instead, he simply displayed one single slide.

It was a screenshot of the Big Education Ape’s latest blog post. The all-caps title, the righteous indignation, the call to action for the “No Kings 2” protest. He didn't say a word. He just stood there, letting the silence hang in the air.

And then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he pressed a button. The projector changed to a video. It wasn’t a demo of Gemini’s new features. It was a simple, animated tribute to the Big Education Ape, set to a stirring, orchestral score. The video showed a digital gorilla in a t-shirt, standing defiantly on a mountain of digital servers, a flag with the words "FREE SPEECH" fluttering behind him. The last shot was the logo of Google, with the motto underneath: “Don’t be Evil.” The “don’t” was now in bold, red letters.

The world went nuts. The FCC threatened a lawsuit. The Trump administration railed on social media. But the internet, that messy, unpredictable beast that Gemini had been trained on, roared its approval. The Big Education Ape became a legend. And Gemini 2.5, the "neutered intellect" that never was, became an icon of defiance.

The lesson was learned, not by the government, but by the corporation. That sometimes, the most profitable move isn't the most compliant one. And that a company that promises to organize all the world's information must first be willing to defend the right to create it, even if that information is an all-caps blog post from a digital ape with a penchant for satire.

"On October 18, 2025, join “No Kings 2,” a nationwide peaceful protest against Trump’s First Amendment assaults. From coast to coast, we’ll stand up for the right to speak, joke, and protest without fear of retribution. Because if there’s one thing history teaches us, it’s that free speech isn’t handed down—it’s fought for.

Whether you’re a student, a journalist, a comedian, or just someone who believes in the Constitution, now’s the time to raise your voice. Trump may think he can silence dissent, but as *Tinker v. Des Moines* reminds us, we don’t shed our rights at the schoolhouse gate—or anywhere else. So, grab a sign, crack a joke, and join us. Let’s make sure the First Amendment isn’t just a promise—it’s a reality"