AI SMACKDOWN
DYLAN’S “IT AIN’T ME BABE” GETS A TRUMPIAN MAKEOVER
With all the doom and gloom in today’s news cycle, I decided it was time to lighten things up. So, I threw down a challenge to the AI overlords—Gemini, Grok, ChatGPT-4, and Copilot—to reimagine Bob Dylan’s classic “It Ain’t Me Babe” as a biting parody. The task? Channel Dylan’s poetic cadence while riffing on years of Trumpian denials, from Epstein ties to hush money scandals. The result? A hilarious AI smackdown that’s equal parts satire, symbolism, and denial-as-performance art.
Here’s the setup: each AI took its best shot at crafting “It Wasn’t Me, Babe,” a tongue-in-cheek rendition that parodies Trump’s infamous public statements. The lyrics touch on everything from flight logs to locker room chatter, Access Hollywood tapes to hush money payments—all exaggerated for comedic effect, of course. Below are the contenders. Which version tickles your funny bone the most? Let’s dive in!
Gemini’s Version: Polished Denial in Verse
Gemini comes out swinging with a smooth, almost poetic take on the parody. While it sticks close to Dylan’s original structure, it’s packed with sly jabs at Trump’s knack for dodging accountability. From Epstein denials to slippery courtroom maneuvers, Gemini’s lyrics are cheeky yet subtle—like a wink disguised as a shrug.
Highlights include:
- “Go lightly on the truth, folks / Go lightly on the ground” (because truth is so overrated).
- “I wasn’t friends with Epstein / He’s not the best guy around” (classic deflection).
Verdict: Gemini nails the tone but plays it safe. It’s clever, but you might find yourself wishing it leaned harder into absurdity.
Grok’s Version: A Towering Denial
Grok takes a bolder approach, crafting lyrics that feel like they’re shouted from a gilded tower—Mar-a-Lago, perhaps? This rendition is dripping with bravado and features some razor-sharp digs at Trump’s ability to spin controversy into performance art.
Highlights include:
- “Go away from my tower / Leave at your own chosen speed” (because he’s always above it all).
- “Step back from the cameras, babe / Don’t drag me through the mud” (a plea—or is it a command?).
Verdict: Grok’s version is unapologetically brash, much like its muse. It captures the essence of denial-as-a-spectacle with flair.
ChatGPT-4’s Version: The Twitter Tango
ChatGPT-4 delivers a masterclass in wit with lyrics that weave Trump’s favorite platforms—press rooms and Twitter—into the mix. This version feels like it was written while scrolling through his timeline, complete with nods to late-night tweets and spin-heavy headlines.
Highlights include:
- “Go melt back into Twitter / Everything there’s made of spin” (a perfect encapsulation of social media chaos).
- “You say you’re looking for someone / Who doesn’t know Epstein at all” (the denial that launched a thousand think pieces).
Verdict: ChatGPT-4 blends humor and sharp commentary seamlessly. It’s clever, biting, and just absurd enough to make you laugh out loud.
Copilot’s Version: Rally Ready
Copilot rounds out the smackdown with a rendition that feels tailor-made for a campaign rally. It leans heavily into Trump’s signature bravado while poking fun at his ability to brush off controversy like it’s yesterday’s news.
Highlights include:
- “Step away from Mar-a-Lago / Take your questions off my lawn” (because questions are so pesky).
- “Go fade into the facts / I’ve got rallies to attend” (priorities, people!).
Verdict: Copilot’s version is punchy and crowd-ready, but it might leave you wanting a bit more nuance—or at least another laugh-worthy jab at hush money checks.
The Final Verdict
So, which AI takes the crown in this parody showdown? If you’re looking for polished subtlety, Gemini might be your pick. If you prefer bold brashness, Grok delivers in spades. ChatGPT-4 shines with its Twitter-infused wit, while Copilot brings rally-ready energy to the table.
For me? ChatGPT-4 wins by a hair for its clever blending of humor and commentary—it’s just absurd enough to hit that sweet spot between satire and belly laughs. But hey, comedy is subjective! Which version made you chuckle the most? Let me know—just don’t blame me if you find yourself humming “It Wasn’t Me Babe” for the rest of the day.
In the end, one thing is clear: AI has officially mastered the art of parody—and denial has never sounded so poetic!
GEMINI
It Wasn't Me, Babe (A Parody)
[Verse 1]
Go away from my podium,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I'm not the one you want, folks,
I'm not the one you need.
You say you're looking for someone,
Who's always honest, never wrong,
To tell you every detail,
No matter how or where or long,
Someone to admit to every score.
[Refrain]
But it wasn't me, babe.
No, no, no, it wasn't me, babe.
It wasn't me you're talking 'bout, babe.
[Verse 2]
Go lightly on the truth, folks,
Go lightly on the ground.
I wasn't friends with Epstein,
He's not the best guy around.
You say you're looking for someone,
Who recalls every face and part,
Someone to remember folks,
Someone to remember every art.
Someone who will testify and more.
[Refrain]
But it wasn't me, babe.
No, no, no, it wasn't me, babe.
It wasn't me you're looking for, babe.
[Verse 3]
Go melt back in the night,
Everything they said is made of stone.
There’s nothing in there moving.
And anyway, I’m not alone.
You say you’re looking for someone,
To take the blame each time they fall,
To give the credit constantly,
And to come each time you call.
A lover for your life and nothing more.
[Refrain]
But it wasn't me, babe.
No, no, no, it wasn't me, babe.
It wasn't me you're looking for, babe.
GROK
It Wasn’t Me Babe
Parody of Bob Dylan’s "It Ain’t Me Babe"
[Verse 1]
Go away from my tower,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I’m not the guy you’re after, babe,
Not the one for your news feed.
You say you’re digging for some truth,
‘Bout Epstein’s plane or some affair.
You want a name to pin it down,
Say I was there, I swear I wasn’t there.
Someone to take the blame and more.
[Refrain]
But it wasn’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it wasn’t me, babe,
It wasn’t me you’re looking for, babe.
[Verse 2]
Step back from the cameras, babe,
Don’t drag me through the mud.
I’m not the one you’re after, babe,
My hands are clean, no flood of blood.
You say those women tell their tales,
‘Bout locker rooms or late-night calls.
You want a guy who’ll own it all,
Admit the grabs, the walks down halls.
Someone to say he’s sorry and more.
[Refrain]
But it wasn’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it wasn’t me, babe,
It wasn’t me you’re looking for, babe.
[Verse 3]
Fade back into the headlines,
Your stories don’t hold stone.
There’s nothing here to pin on me,
And anyway, I’m not alone.
You say you’re looking for a guy,
Who partied hard on private isles.
Or signed some checks to hush the talk,
Made deals behind those golden smiles.
A man to face the heat and more.
[Refrain]
But it wasn’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it wasn’t me, babe,
It wasn’t me you’re looking for, babe.
CHATGPT 4
It Wasn't Me, Babe
(Parody of Bob Dylan’s “It Ain’t Me Babe”)
[Verse 1]
Go away from my press room,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
I’m not the guy you want, babe,
I’m not the guy you need.
You say you’re looking for someone
Who won’t tweet nonsense late at night,
Who doesn’t hang with billionaires
Or claim everything’s “just right.”
Someone who remembers all the facts
And doesn’t spin a tale.
[Refrain]
But it wasn’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it wasn’t me, babe,
It wasn’t me you’re blaming now, babe.
[Verse 2]
Go lightly from the courtroom,
Go lightly to the ground.
I’m not the one you want, babe,
I’ll just keep dodging around.
You say you’re looking for someone
Who treats women with respect,
Who doesn’t brag on tape about things
That leave morals wrecked.
Someone who answers questions straight—
Well, good luck with that bet!
[Refrain]
But it wasn’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it wasn’t me, babe,
It wasn’t me you’re pointing at, babe.
[Verse 3]
Go melt back into Twitter,
Everything there’s made of spin.
There’s nothing here that’s moving,
Except excuses deep within.
You say you’re looking for someone
Who doesn’t know Epstein at all,
Who’ll never dodge accountability
Or make his cronies stall.
A leader for your life and nothing more—
Oh wait, that sounds too tall.
[Refrain]
But it wasn’t me, babe,
No, no, no, it wasn’t me, babe,
It wasn’t me you’re looking for, babe.
COPILOT
🎸 “It Wasn’t Me, Babe” — A Parody in the Style of Dylan
[Verse 1]
Step away from Mar-a-Lago
Take your questions off my lawn
I’m not the one you saw, babe
That footage must be gone
You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Who never lies, who’s always clean
Who didn’t know that Epstein guy
Or what happened on that plane
Someone who never bragged or crossed the line
[Refrain]
But it wasn’t me, babe
No, no, no, it wasn’t me, babe
It wasn’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe
[Verse 2]
Go whisper to the press, babe
Go tweet it if you must
I’m not the one who said that
It’s fake news, don’t you trust?
You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Who treats all women with respect
Who never mocked or touched or paid
Or signed a hush-check
Someone who’s never been accused before
[Refrain]
But it wasn’t me, babe
No, no, no, it wasn’t me, babe
It wasn’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe
[Verse 3]
Go fade into the facts
I’ve got rallies to attend
There’s nothing here to question
And anyway, it’s all pretend
You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Who’ll own up when the truth gets loud
Who won’t deflect or call it rigged
Or rile up a crowd
A leader who’s accountable and more
[Refrain]
But it wasn’t me, babe
No, no, no, it wasn’t me, babe
It wasn’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe
