A MASTERCLASS IN HOW TO FAIL SPECTACULARLY
Puerto Rico outages: Massive blackout leaves nearly 90% of Puerto Rican customers without power | CNN https://www.cnn.com/2024/12/31/us/puerto-rico-power-outage/index.html
Ah, Puerto Rico—the island of enchantment, where the beaches are pristine, the piña coladas flow freely, and privatization dreams go to die. If you’ve ever wondered what happens when public services are handed over to private companies with promises of efficiency, lower costs, and rainbows made of unicorn glitter, let Puerto Rico be your cautionary tale. From education to electricity, privatization on this island has been less of a success story and more of a tragicomedy.
Math Scores: Adding Up the Failures
Let’s start with the kids because if you’re going to mess up a system, why not start with the future? According to the Nation’s Report Card, Puerto Rico’s average math score in 2023 was a dismal 178 out of 500. For context, that’s like showing up to a marathon and collapsing at the starting line. This score isn’t just below the national average; it’s so far below that you’d need a telescope to see the rest of the country.
What’s worse is that this isn’t an isolated bad year—it’s part of a trend. Over time, math scores in Puerto Rico have been declining faster than my faith in humanity after reading the comments section on social media. The percentage of students performing at or above basic math levels is so low that you’d have better odds finding a parking spot in Old San Juan on a Saturday night.
The privatization of education in Puerto Rico was supposed to bring innovation and improvement. Instead, it brought us charter schools that cherry-pick students, leaving public schools underfunded and overcrowded. It’s as if someone decided to fix a leaky boat by drilling more holes in it.
LUMA Energy: Lighting Up the Rage
If education is the appetizer in this privatization feast of failure, then electricity is the main course—and boy, is it overcooked. Enter LUMA Energy, the US-Canadian company that swooped in to privatize Puerto Rico’s electricity transmission and distribution in 2021. The promise? A modernized grid, fewer blackouts, and lower prices. The reality? Blackouts that last longer than most Netflix binges, skyrocketing electricity bills, and protests that make rush hour traffic look like a picnic.
Hundreds of Puerto Ricans recently marched through San Juan demanding an end to LUMA’s controversial contract. Why? Because instead of fixing the island’s notoriously unreliable power grid, LUMA has managed to make things worse. It’s like hiring a plumber to fix your sink and ending up with a flooded basement.
And let’s not forget the price hikes. Electricity bills have soared under LUMA’s watch, leaving residents wondering if they’re paying for power or funding a secret space program. Meanwhile, connection problems persist, and major blackouts are as common as coquí frogs serenading the night.
The Puerto Rico House of Representatives has even approved a resolution to rescind LUMA’s contract. But as we all know, government resolutions move about as quickly as molasses in January. So for now, Puerto Ricans are stuck with a privatized power system that’s about as reliable as a politician’s campaign promises.
Privatizing Power Generation: Because Why Stop Now?
As if things weren’t bad enough, Puerto Rico recently announced plans to privatize electricity generation as well. Yes, because clearly what we need is *more* privatization in a system that’s already imploding. This marks the beginning of the end for the Puerto Rico Electric Power Authority (PREPA), which has been accused of corruption, mismanagement, and inefficiency for decades. But if you think replacing one dysfunctional system with another is the solution, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.
The move comes after Hurricane Maria devastated Puerto Rico’s power grid in 2017—a grid that was already held together with duct tape and good intentions. Since then, there’s been little investment or maintenance, making it ripe for privatization vultures to swoop in. The government insists this will solve all our problems. Critics argue it’s like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it.
The main opposition party has vowed to fight this plan tooth and nail. But given how these things usually go, it wouldn’t be surprising if the contract gets approved anyway. After all, when has public outcry ever stopped bad decisions from being made?
The Privatization Playbook: Overpromise and Underperform
So why does privatization keep failing in Puerto Rico? For starters, it often comes with lofty promises that sound great on paper but fall apart in execution. Companies like LUMA swoop in with slick presentations and buzzwords like “efficiency” and “modernization,” but once they get their contracts, it’s all downhill from there.
Then there’s the lack of accountability. When public services are privatized, oversight often becomes an afterthought. Companies prioritize profits over people, cutting corners and raising prices while delivering subpar services. And let’s not forget the government officials who sign off on these deals—many of whom seem more interested in photo ops than long-term solutions.
Finally, there’s the issue of public trust—or rather, the lack thereof. Puerto Ricans have seen this movie before, and they know how it ends: with higher costs, worse services, and protests in the streets. It’s no wonder so many people are skeptical of privatization efforts; they’ve been burned too many times before.
Lessons Learned (or Not)
If there’s one thing we can learn from Puerto Rico’s privatization fiascos, it’s that not everything needs to be run like a business—especially essential services like education and electricity. Some things are better left in public hands, where accountability and accessibility take precedence over profit margins.
But will these lessons actually be learned? Or will Puerto Rico continue down this path of privatization doom? Only time will tell. In the meantime, we can only hope that future decision-makers take a long, hard look at what’s happened here and choose a different path.
Until then, Puerto Ricans will keep fighting for their rights—whether it’s demanding better schools for their children or reliable electricity for their homes. Because if there’s one thing this island has in spades, it’s resilience. And maybe, just maybe, that resilience will be enough to turn things around.
So here’s to Puerto Rico: land of beautiful beaches, delicious food, and privatization failures so epic they deserve their own Netflix series. Let’s hope the next chapter in this story is one of redemption rather than repetition.
Out LUMA!: Puerto Ricans demand an end to the privatization of energy : Peoples Dispatch https://peoplesdispatch.org/2024/07/05/out-luma-puerto-ricans-demand-an-end-to-the-privatization-of-energy/
Puerto Rico to privatize power generation amid outages | International | EL PAÍS English https://english.elpais.com/international/2023-01-16/puerto-rico-to-privatize-power-generation-amid-outages.html
Puerto Rico on its way to privatizing power generation despite widespread skepticism https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/puerto-rico-way-privatizing-power-generation-widespread-skepticism-rcna66087
Big Education Ape: Hedge funds tell Puerto Rico: lay off teachers and close schools to pay us back | World news | The Guardian https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2015/07/hedge-funds-tell-puerto-rico-lay-off.html
Big Education Ape: AFT PRESIDENT WEINGARTEN: PUERTO RICO GOVERNOR RICARDO ROSSELLO IS “REPREHENSIBLE” MUST RESIGN “IMMEDIATELY” | Black Star News https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2019/07/aft-president-weingarten-puerto-rico.html
Big Education Ape: Seizing Upon Post-Hurricane Damage, Puerto Rico's New "Education Reform" Law Paves Way for Charters, Vouchers https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2018/03/seizing-upon-post-hurricane-damage.html
Big Education Ape: (Special) Education in Puerto Rico: “Here, All of the Parents are Desperate.” | deutsch29 https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2018/10/special-education-in-puerto-rico-here.html
