WE HAVE MET THE ENEMY AND HE IS US
As I stroll through this chamber of horrors known as the Trump 2.0 cabinet picks, I can't help but wonder how the hell did he win the presidency? It's like a bad sequel to a terrible movie, and we're all stuck watching it unfold in real time. So, let's take a hilarious and witty walk down memory lane and try to figure out where we went wrong.
First off, let's address the elephant in the room – Kamala. Was she a flawed candidate? Well, most reports suggest that she did pretty well considering the short period she had to introduce herself and lay out her plans for the next four years. So, it's safe to say that Kamala wasn't the problem.
Then there's Biden. Did he wait too long to bow out? Maybe, maybe not. But let's face it, the man's got charisma for days and a smile that could charm the pants off a statue. So, it's not entirely his fault either.
Now, let's talk about the issues that were highlighted by the Harris candidacy. I took a look at my bingo card of important issues, and boy, oh boy, did we drop the ball.
Change in the Democratic Party? We promised more of the same. How inspiring. It's like going to a restaurant and ordering the same dish you've had a million times before – predictable and a little disappointing.
Climate change? Despite two super hurricanes and numerous fires raging, we seem to not mention much about that except to brag about our oil production and how well fracking is going. It's like patting ourselves on the back for setting the house on fire and then bragging about how warm it is.
Education, student debt, charter schools, vouchers – these are big issues for me as I watch the destruction of our public school system. Yet, hardly a peep from either party. It's like watching a slow-motion train wreck and no one seems to care enough to hit the brakes.
Housing got a little lip service during the campaign, but I think that the tents lining our streets and neighborhoods are daily reminders of what should be a big priority. It's like ignoring the elephant in the room and hoping it magically turns into a fluffy bunny.
Poverty, wealth inequality, oligarchy – almost crickets during the campaign as billionaire priorities reigned supreme. It's like watching a game of Monopoly where one person keeps hoarding all the money and properties while everyone else is left with nothing but Baltic Avenue.
Common sense gun control? Not much there, but Kamala did offer to shoot anyone breaking into her home – something that didn't happen on January 6, 2021 when they broke into our home. It's like offering a band-aid for a gunshot wound and expecting it to magically heal everything.
Gaza, Ukraine, and foreign relations – i.e. China, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Israel – wow, not much was said except more of the same. It's like trying to have a conversation with someone who only knows one word of a foreign language and keeps repeating it over and over again.
Domestic terrorism, tech/artificial intelligence, government/budget were also big issues on my bingo cards, so again I didn't hear much that excited me. It's like going to a party and realizing that all the snacks are gone and there's nothing left to do but awkwardly stand in the corner.
So, here we are, scratching our heads and wondering how the hell did we end up with Trump 2.0? It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion – you can't look away, but you also can't believe what you're seeing.
But hey, at least we can find some humor in the absurdity of it all. After all, laughter is the best medicine, especially when you're faced with a political landscape that seems more like a circus than a functioning government.
So, as we navigate through this wild ride of Trump 2.0, let's remember to keep our sense of humor intact. Because if we can't laugh at the madness around us, then we're truly doomed. And who knows, maybe one day we'll look back on this whole debacle and have a good chuckle at how ridiculous it all was. Until then, buckle up and hold on tight – it's going to be a bumpy ride!
'Grab 'Em' Trump Fills His Cabinet With Alleged Sex Abusers - National Memo https://www.nationalmemo.com/trump-sexual-abuse