URINATION VS YOUR NATION
A BOOMER'S MORNING RITUAL: BLADDER RELIEF AND RIGHTEOUS RAGE
By a Concerned Citizen with an Overactive Bladder and an Overdeveloped Sense of History
They say the golden years are supposed to be, well, golden. But for many of us Boomers, the only thing golden about our mornings is what we're depositing in the porcelain throne at 5:47 AM—again at 6:23 AM—and once more before the coffee's even brewed.
Our daily routine has become depressingly predictable: Urinate. Turn on the news. Get pissed off. Rinse and repeat. Literally.
It's a cruel cosmic joke that as our bladder control weakens, our ability to control our blood pressure while watching cable news has completely evaporated. We've become a generation caught between two types of relief—one biological, one political—and frankly, we're running out of both.
⅓ OF A NATION'S LIFETIME: WHAT WE'VE SEEN
As America celebrates its 250th birthday, some of us have been around for roughly a third of that journey. That's 80-some years of watching this grand experiment in democracy lurch between inspiring triumph and face-palming disaster. We've had front-row seats to the greatest show on Earth, and let me tell you: the reviews are mixed.
THE THINGS THAT PISSED US OFF (And Still Do)
Let's start with the lowlights, shall we? Because nothing gets the morning stream flowing like remembering decades of national embarrassments:
THE WARS THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN
- Vietnam: 58,000 American lives and countless Vietnamese casualties for... what exactly? A "domino" that never fell?
- Iraq: "Weapons of Mass Destruction" that turned out to be Weapons of Mass Deception
- Afghanistan: Twenty years, trillions of dollars, and we left the same people in charge we tried to remove
IMPERIALISM & INTERVENTIONISM
- Overthrowing democratically elected governments (Iran, Guatemala, Chile) because they didn't play nice with our corporate interests
- Banana republics that were literally about bananas and corporate profits
- The hubris of thinking we could export democracy at gunpoint
THE ROGUES' GALLERY OF POLITICAL SHAME
- Watergate & Nixon: "I am not a crook" (Narrator: He was a crook)
- Jim Crow: Apartheid, American-style, lasting a century after slavery "ended"
- McCarthyism: Ruining lives over imaginary communists under every bed
- Iran-Contra: Selling weapons to enemies to fund other enemies. Makes perfect sense!
- The 2008 Financial Crisis: Wall Street gambled, Main Street paid
- Citizens United: Corporations are people, my friend! (But with better tax breaks)
- Systemic racism: From redlining to mass incarceration, the hits just keep coming
ENVIRONMENTAL NEGLIGENCE
- Decades of climate denial while the planet literally burns
- Flint still doesn't have clean water, but hey, tax cuts for billionaires!
THE INEQUALITY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX
- CEO pay: 670 times the average worker (in 1965 it was 20 times)
- Healthcare that bankrupts families
- Student debt that enslaves generations
- The "gig economy" that's really just feudalism with apps
THE THINGS THAT MADE US PROUD TO BE AMERICAN
But wait—before you think we're just bitter old cranks yelling at clouds (okay, we are that, but we're justified bitter old cranks), let's remember the good stuff. Because there has been good stuff:
THE DEFEAT OF FASCISM
- We stormed the beaches of Normandy and said "Not today, Hitler"
- The Greatest Generation earned that title
- We rebuilt Europe and Japan instead of grinding them into dust
THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT
- Rosa Parks sat down so we could all stand up
- MLK had a dream, and millions marched to make it real
- The Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act—imperfect but monumental
- Loving v. Virginia: Love is love (even if it took until 1967 to make interracial marriage legal)
THE LABOR MOVEMENT
- Unions gave us weekends, the 8-hour workday, child labor laws
- Workers organizing against robber barons and winning (sometimes)
- The New Deal: Proof that government can actually help people
SOCIAL PROGRESS
- Women's suffrage (finally!)
- Title IX: Girls can play too
- The ADA: Disability rights are human rights
- Marriage equality: Love won
- The slow, painful, ongoing march toward "all men are created equal" actually meaning all
SCIENTIFIC & CULTURAL ACHIEVEMENTS
- We put people on the damn moon!
- The internet (yes, it's a mixed blessing)
- Medical advances that have doubled life expectancy
- Jazz, blues, rock 'n' roll, hip-hop—we gave the world its soundtrack
- A culture that, at its best, celebrates innovation, diversity, and second chances
GRASSROOTS MOVEMENTS
- Environmental activism: From Rachel Carson to Greta Thunberg
- #MeToo: Accountability for the powerful
- Black Lives Matter: Demanding justice, again and again
- LGBTQ+ rights: From Stonewall to pride parades worldwide
- Occupy Wall Street, the Women's March, March for Our Lives: People power isn't dead
THE PRESENT PREDICAMENT: MORE PEES, MORE PISSED
Here's the thing about getting older: your prostate grows, your patience shrinks, and your tolerance for bullshit evaporates entirely.
These days, I'm up every two hours to pee. And with the current political climate? I'm pissed off just as frequently.
The cruel mathematics of aging in the Trump era:
- Bathroom trips per night: 3-4
- News cycles that spike blood pressure: Every. Single. One.
- Correlation: Uncomfortably high
I'm not even that worried about us Boomers anymore. We've lived our lives. We got cheap college, affordable housing, pensions (remember those?), and Social Security that might actually be there when we need it. We danced at Woodstock, protested Vietnam, and bought our first homes for the price of a used car today.
But our kids? The Millennials, Gen X, Gen Z? We're handing them a dumpster fire and calling it an inheritance.
WHAT WE'RE LEAVING BEHIND: AN APOLOGY LETTER
Dear Younger Generations,
We're sorry. We really are.
We're leaving you:
- A planet on fire (but hey, the sunsets are more colorful now!)
- Crushing debt for the crime of wanting an education
- Unaffordable housing (that starter home we bought for $30K? It's now $800K)
- Disappearing pensions (401Ks are just gambling with your retirement)
- A democracy under siege by a narcissistic autocrat and his enablers
- A Supreme Court determined to drag you back to 1950
- Social media that's weaponized tribalism and turned your aunt into a conspiracy theorist
- A healthcare system that treats insulin like liquid gold
- Infrastructure held together with duct tape and hope
And the cherry on top? A country being remade in the image of a fat, vain, hypocritical, lying autocrat who makes Nixon look like George Washington.
IMAGINE: UNCLE SAM AS TRUMP
Picture it: Uncle Sam, that iconic symbol of American determination and grit, but reimagined as Trump.
- The red, white, and blue outfit? Now ill-fitting, with the jacket straining at the buttons
- The stern, noble face? Replaced with an orange spray-tan and a combover that defies physics and dignity
- The pointing finger saying "I Want YOU"? Now pointing at himself, saying "I Want YOU to worship ME"
- The tall, dignified posture? Slouched forward, mid-rant about crowd sizes
- That look of determination? Now a petulant pout
Instead of "We the People," it's "Me the Person." Instead of "E Pluribus Unum" (Out of Many, One), it's "E Pluribus Trump" (Out of Many, Me).
The whole world is watching. And they're not impressed. They're pissed, confused, and wondering what the hell happened to the country that once stood for something beyond one man's ego.
IT'S YOUR TURN AT THE URINAL (Metaphorically Speaking)
So here's the deal, younger citizens: It's time to step up to the urinal—metaphorically—and take your country back.
Your future depends on it. Because it literally does.
We Boomers had our shot. We won some, lost some, and frankly, we're tired. Our bladders are weak, our knees are shot, and we're running out of time to fix what we broke.
But you? You're just getting started.
HERE'S YOUR ACTION PLAN:
1. STAY INFORMED
- Read beyond headlines
- Seek multiple sources
- Fact-check everything (especially if it makes you really angry or really happy)
- Understand civics: How does government actually work? (Spoiler: Not like Twitter)
2. ORGANIZE
- Join groups, build coalitions
- Find your people and amplify each other
- Remember: The powerful want you divided. Don't give them the satisfaction.
3. PROTEST
- Make good trouble (as John Lewis said)
- Show up, speak up, stand up
- Peaceful protest is as American as apple pie and baseball
4. VOTE
- Every. Single. Election.
- Local, state, federal—they all matter
- Bring your friends. Make it a party. Democracy is a team sport.
5. RUN FOR OFFICE
- Yes, YOU
- School board, city council, state legislature
- If you think politicians are terrible, become a better one
6. SUPPORT MOVEMENTS THAT MATTER
- Like the No Kings March on March 28th (https://www.nokings.org/)
- Because America was literally founded on the principle of no kings
- We didn't fight a revolution to replace King George with King Donald
THE BOTTOM LINE (Pun Intended)
Every morning, I shuffle to the bathroom in the dark, half-asleep, and relieve myself. It's automatic, biological, necessary.
Then I make the mistake of turning on the news, and I'm pissed off all over again—but this time, there's no relief.
Here's what I've learned in my almost 80-some years:
- Democracy is not a spectator sport
- Freedom requires constant vigilance
- Rights are not given; they're fought for, won, and must be defended
- Every generation faces its test
- This is yours
We Boomers have seen America at its best and worst. We've watched it soar and stumble, inspire and disappoint. We've lived through presidents who were statesmen and presidents who were crooks.
But we've never seen anything quite like this: a moment when the very idea of America—messy, imperfect, but always striving toward "a more perfect union"—hangs in the balance.
So yes, I'm pissed off. Not just because my prostate is the size of a grapefruit, but because we're handing you a country that's being hijacked by a wannabe king and his court of sycophants.
But I'm also hopeful. Because I've seen what happens when Americans get fed up and fight back. I've seen ordinary people do extraordinary things. I've seen movements start small and grow into forces that change the world.
Your turn.
Get informed. Get organized. Get angry. Get active.
And for the love of democracy, VOTE.
Because the alternative is a nation that looks like Trump: bloated, corrupt, self-serving, and ultimately hollow.
And that's something worth getting pissed off about.
P.S. — Drink plenty of water, support your local democracy, and remember: No Kings. Not now, not ever.
Join the No Kings March: March 28, 2026 Visit: https://www.nokings.org/
Because some things are worth getting up in the middle of the night for—even if it's just to pee and plot the resistance.
No Kings https://www.nokings.org/
Resource Guide & Community Response For No Kings Day — No Kings https://www.nokings.org/kyr
Join the No Kings March: March 28, 2026 Visit: https://nokings.org #NoKingsProtest #NoKingsMar28 #NoKingsInAmerica #NoKings
