WHEN 47 DAYS OF TRAINING MEETS A LIFETIME OF IMPUNITY
THE EXECUTIONS OF ALEX PRETTI AND RENEE GOOD
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Fascist Boot (Just Kidding—Defund ICE)
By BIG EDUCATION APE, Because Someone Has to Say It
January 25, 2026
Let me get this straight.
You need 1,500 hours to become a licensed cosmetologist in Minnesota. That's about nine months of training to safely handle scissors near someone's ears.
But apparently, 47 days—roughly 320 hours—is plenty of time to train a Border Patrol agent to make life-or-death decisions with a firearm in American cities during "Operation Metro Surge."
What could possibly go wrong?
Oh, right. Alex Pretti and Renee Good are dead.
THE TALE OF TWO EXECUTIONS
Renee Good: Poet, Mother, U.S. Citizen—"Domestic Terrorist"?
On January 7, 2026, Renee Nicole Good—a 37-year-old poet, mother of three, and U.S. citizen—was shot three times by ICE Agent Jonathan Ross in Minneapolis. Secretary Kristi Noem and President Trump immediately labeled her a "domestic terrorist" who "weaponized her vehicle" to run over agents.
The problem? Multiple bystander videos analyzed by The New York Times show Good's SUV moving away from Agent Ross when he opened fire through her windshield and driver-side window.
But sure, let's trust the people who think "alternative facts" is a legitimate phrase.
Alex Pretti: ICU Nurse, Veteran Caregiver—Shot 10 Times in 5 Seconds
On January 24, 2026—just yesterday—Alex Pretti, a 37-year-old ICU nurse at the Minneapolis VA, was filming a federal immigration raid. Witnesses say he tried to help a woman who had been shoved by agents.
What happened next? Approximately six federal agents tackled him. Video shows Pretti holding a phone (not a gun) in his hand. An agent appears to pull a handgun away from the scuffle—and then other agents opened fire on the pinned man, shooting him 10 times in five seconds.
DHS claims Pretti was a "domestic terrorist" who "violently resisted" with a handgun.
Who are you going to believe—the fascists or your lying eyes?
QUALIFIED IMMUNITY: THE "GET OUT OF JAIL FREE" CARD FOR KILLER COPS
Here's where it gets legally obscene.
If Alex Pretti had been killed by a Minneapolis Police officer, his family could sue under Minnesota state law, which has limited qualified immunity. They'd have a fighting chance at justice.
But because he was killed by federal agents (Border Patrol/ICE), the family must navigate a legal labyrinth designed to ensure zero accountability:
The Bivens Black Hole
Unlike local cops, you can't sue federal agents under the standard civil rights law (Section 1983). You need a "Bivens claim"—a judicial doctrine the Supreme Court has spent the last decade systematically destroying.
If a court decides this is a "new context" (spoiler: they will), the case gets dismissed entirely, regardless of whether the shooting was justified.
The "Clearly Established" Catch-22
Even if the case survives the Bivens hurdle, the family must find a prior case with nearly identical facts—like, say, "federal agents shooting a prone man after another agent had already disarmed him."
No such case in the 8th Circuit? Too bad. Immunity granted.
It's a legal Möbius strip: A right can't be "clearly established" unless a previous victim already won a nearly identical case. But if the previous case was dismissed for lack of "clearly established" precedent, no precedent ever gets created.
Congratulations. You've just discovered the perpetual motion machine of injustice.
THE WRIT OF MANDAMUS: WHEN THE GOVERNMENT PLAYS HIDE-AND-SEEK WITH EVIDENCE
So what do you do when federal agencies refuse to release evidence—like autopsy reports, body-cam footage, or Renee Good's bullet-riddled SUV?
Enter the Writ of Mandamus (Latin for "we command")—an extraordinary court order that forces government officials to do their damn jobs.
How It's Being Used:
Renee Good's Case: Attorneys are drafting a Mandamus petition to force the Hennepin County Medical Examiner to release the autopsy report, which the DOJ is reportedly "holding."
Alex Pretti's Case: On January 24, a federal judge granted a Temporary Restraining Order (similar to Mandamus) to prevent the Trump administration from "destroying or altering" evidence at the scene.
Translation: The government's first instinct was to cover it up. A judge had to literally command them not to destroy evidence of their own killing.
Let that sink in.
THE PROPAGANDA MACHINE: BOVINO, NOEM, MILLER, AND THE BOOTLICKING CHORUS
Let's talk about the sycophants.
Kristi Noem (DHS Secretary)
Called both victims "domestic terrorists" before any investigation. Also famous for shooting her own dog and writing about it in a book. Credibility: -47.
Stephen Miller (White House Senior Advisor)
The architect of "Operation Metro Surge." Once described by a former colleague as someone who "would have been in the Gestapo if he'd been born in 1920s Germany." Subtlety: 0.
Speaker Mike Johnson
Praised the raids as "restoring law and order." Also believes the Earth is 6,000 years old. Scientific literacy: Pending.
Tom Bovino (Acting ICE Director, presumably)
Defended the agents' actions as "heroic." Definition of "heroic": Shooting unarmed civilians 10 times in 5 seconds.
WHAT THE VIDEOS SHOW VS. WHAT THE FASCISTS CLAIM
| Government Claim | What the Video Actually Shows |
|---|---|
| Renee Good "weaponized her vehicle" | SUV moving away from Agent Ross |
| Alex Pretti "approached with a handgun" | Pretti holding a phone; agent pulls gun away before shooting |
| Agents acted in "self-defense" | Six agents tackling one man, then executing him while pinned |
Conclusion: Either the Trump administration is lying, or they've discovered a parallel universe where phones are guns and driving away is an assault.
Occam's Razor says: They're lying.
THE FBI SUPERVISOR WHO SAID "HELL NO"
On January 24, FBI Supervisor Tracee Mergen resigned after being pressured to reclassify the Alex Pretti investigation from a "shooting" to an "assault on an officer."
Let me repeat that: The government tried to rewrite the nature of the incident to protect the agents.
This is not incompetence. This is a cover-up.
DEFUND ICE. ABOLISH QUALIFIED IMMUNITY. CALL CONGRESS NOW.
Here's the bottom line:
47 days of training is not enough to prevent the ICE Keystone Kops from killing people.
Qualified immunity is a judicial abomination that ensures killer cops never face consequences.
Federal agents operate with even less accountability than local police.
And the Trump administration is actively covering up the evidence.
WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW:
CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES (Capitol Switchboard: 202-224-3121)
- Demand passage of the Qualified Immunity Abolition Act of 2026
- Demand an independent investigation into both killings
- Demand defunding of ICE until accountability measures are in place
SUPPORT THE ACLU LAWSUIT against DHS Secretary Kristi Noem
SHARE THE VIDEOS (before they get "accidentally deleted")
DONATE to the legal defense funds for the Pretti and Good families
VOTE out every bootlicking sycophant who values "law and order" over actual human lives
FINAL THOUGHT: WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE?
The fascists will tell you these were "justified shootings."
The videos show executions.
The government will claim "officer safety."
The victims are dead.
Stephen Miller will call it "restoring order."
History will call it what it is: state-sanctioned murder.
Until there is justice for all who have been harmed or killed at the hands of fascist government agents, there can be no peace.
Defund ICE. Abolish qualified immunity. And for the love of democracy—
CALL CONGRESS. CALL THEM NOW. CALL THEM OFTEN.
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"WTF WTF WTF." — Every reasonable person watching this unfold
SOURCES & FURTHER READING:
- ACLU Lawsuit: ACLU v. Noem (2026)
- The New York Times video analysis of the Renee Good shooting
- Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison's TRO filing (Jan. 24, 2026)
- FBI Supervisor Tracee Mergen resignation reports (Jan. 24, 2026)
- Supreme Court cases: Harlow v. Fitzgerald (1982), Anderson v. Creighton (1987), Taylor v. Riojas (2020)
DISCLAIMER: This article contains strong language, righteous anger, and an unapologetic commitment to the truth. If that offends you, perhaps examine why state violence doesn't.
