I'M SO TARIFFLESS I COULD TWEET
A Satirical Parody Song: “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” By Hank Williams, Sr. Based On The Supreme Court Ruling Declaring Trump's Tariffs Unconstitutional. It’s 3:00 AM. The glow of a smartphone illuminates the Oval Office (or a gold-leafed headboard). The "Caps Lock" is on, the "Retruth" button is smoking, and the syntax is purely experimental.
I'M SO TARIFFLESS I COULD TWEET
Hear that lonesome gavel fall
The Court says tariffs die
"Fake news!" I'm tweeting through it all
I'm so tariffless I could tweet
I've never seen a ruling so wrong
Roberts turned, what a deep-state guy
Those three libs and my own Barrett too
I'm so tariffless I could tweet
Did you ever see a president plead
When his emergency powers run dry?
"I'll use another statute, just watch me now"
I'm so tariffless I could tweet
The silence of a falling trade war
Lights up a China-red sky
And as I wonder where my duties are
I'm so tariffless I could tweet
[Outro – Repeat softly, with a defiant sniffle]
Yeah, the midnight markets are whining low
Refunds? Ha, tell that to the sky
I built the greatest tariffs, they tore 'em down
I'm so tariffless I could tweet
(Spoken, country style)
"I'll pack that Court with twenty more!
Constitutional? We'll see about that, I tell you what..."
