ALL HAIL SATAN BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE NICE ABOUT IT
Welcome to the Satanic Temple, where we believe in individual liberties, secularism, and the right to not be physically or psychologically abused. And let's be honest, who doesn't love a good Satanic ritual every now and then?
But in all seriousness, we have launched the Protect Children Project, which aims to provide students with a legal way to exempt themselves from abusive treatment in schools. We believe that no child should be subjected to corporal punishment, seclusion, restraint, or denial of bathroom access by school officials who violate their religious beliefs in bodily autonomy. And yes, we do consider bodily autonomy a religious belief. Don't question it.
Our project asserts that students who are members of The Satanic Temple, or any other students who share our religious beliefs, have civil rights that are being violated by school officials. And we're not just talking about a few isolated incidents here. The use of physical restraints and solitary confinement as a means of discipline in schools is abusive, and unfortunately, the number of incidents keeps rising.
But don't worry, we're not just here to complain about the problem. We're actually doing something about it. We're providing students with a "Student Rights Card" that legally exempts them from abusive treatment. And if anyone tries to mess with them, they can just whip out their card and say "sorry, can't touch this."
Now, you may be wondering why we're so invested in protecting children's rights. Well, let's just say that we have a soft spot for the little ones. Plus, we believe that compassion and empathy are fundamental tenets of our religion. So yeah, we're not just a bunch of evil Satan worshippers. We actually care about people. Who knew?
In addition to our Protect Children Project, we're also operating After School Satan Clubs in school districts where the evangelical Good News Clubs are already present. We aim to offer a contrasting balance to the students' extracurricular activities and promote plurality and true religious liberty. The Good News Clubs teach children sin, obedience, punishment, and hell, and strive to train children to evangelize to other children. The Satanic Temple's After School Satan Clubs, on the other hand, emphasize a scientific, rationalist, non-superstitious world view through games, projects, and thinking exercises.
And before you start freaking out about us brainwashing your children with our Satanic propaganda, let us assure you that our volunteers are selected for their professionalism, social responsibility, and superior communication skills. They have also passed a comprehensive criminal background check and received After School Satan Club training. So yeah, we're not just letting any old devil worshipper hang out with your kids.
But our advocacy doesn't stop there. We're also fighting for reproductive rights, protecting mental health patients, promoting self-directed education through the After School Satan Club, offering a Satanic approach to addiction recovery, promoting pluralism and fighting for religious liberty, collaborating with congregations to provide community works events, and providing post-secondary students with the opportunity to advocate for Satanic representation on their campuses.
And if you're still not convinced that we're not a bunch of evil Satan worshippers who want to destroy the world (spoiler alert: we're not), let's talk about Alabama's public schools. Did you know that teachers are still allowed to use corporal punishment in the form of paddling as a means of discipline? Yeah, you read that right. Paddling. In 2023.
And it's not just a few isolated incidents either. Around 40,000 children were paddled last school year alone. And while the state passed legislation in 1995 allowing such punishment, there are concerns that teachers may be using excessive force. One mother even reported bruises on her 7-year-old son's behind after he was paddled for picking his nose in class. Seriously? Picking his nose?
The state Board of Education defends the use of paddling as a tool to help ensure a good classroom experience. But let's be real here. There are plenty of other ways to ensure a good classroom experience that don't involve physical violence. Like maybe actually teaching your students something useful?
So yeah, that's what we're up against. But we're not giving up anytime soon. We'll keep fighting for children's rights, religious liberty, and a world where paddling is just something you do in a canoe.
In conclusion, if you're looking for a fun-loving group of Satan worshippers who actually care about people (shocking, we know), then look no further than the Satanic Temple. We may be a little unconventional, but hey, who wants to be conventional anyway? Join us today and let's make the world a better place (and maybe sacrifice a goat or two along the way).
Campaigns of The Satanic Temple - TST https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/campaigns
The Satanic Temple - Official Website https://thesatanictemple.com/
Teachers Can Spank Kids Black and Blue - ABC News https://abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=129974
Big Education Ape: WHY DO WE STILL BEAT ON KIDS IN SCHOOLS: IT DOESN'T WORK https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/why-do-we-still-beat-on-kids-in-schools.html
Big Education Ape: BAN THE BOARD: 19 STATES - SCHOOLS STILL ALLOW HITTING KIDS https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/05/ban-board-19-states-schools-still-allow.html
Big Education Ape: Corporal Punishment: Inside the Education Week Analysis - Inside School Research - Education Week https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2016/08/corporal-punishment-inside-education.html
Protect Children Project - TST https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/protect-children-project
BONUS
Supreme Courtship - TST https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/supreme-courtship
