OAKLAND TEACHERS STRIKE OVER $1BILLION PRICE TAG FOR THE COMMON GOOD
A DEEP DIVE INTO THE ABSURDITY OF IT ALL
It's been seven days since the Oakland teachers went on strike, and the two sides are still far apart. The district claims that the union's "common good" proposals would cost over $1 billion, while the union says that the district is just trying to scare them into backing down. As a result, students are missing out on valuable instructional time, and parents are starting to get frustrated. But fear not, dear reader, for I am here to provide you with a witty and funny deep dive into the absurdity of it all.
Let's start with the union's proposals, shall we? Housing homeless students, investing in Black Thriving Community Schools, and getting rid of rats all sound like reasonable requests. After all, who wouldn't want to help homeless students or invest in thriving communities? And as for the rats, well, nobody likes rats, do they? But here's the thing: fully implementing these proposals would cost over $1 billion. That's a lot of money. Like, a lot.
But wait, there's more! The union claims that the district's estimate is ridiculous. And you know what? They might be right. After all, how can anyone really know how much it would cost to house homeless students or invest in thriving communities? And as for getting rid of rats, well, that can't be that expensive, can it? Just get a bunch of cats or something.
Now, let's talk about the impact on students. Yes, they are missing out on valuable instructional time. But let's be real here: how much instructional time do they really need? I mean, sure, reading, writing, and arithmetic are important and all that, but what about life skills? Like how to make a grilled cheese sandwich or change a tire? Or how to deal with a difficult boss or a toxic coworker? These are the things that really matter in life.
And let's not forget about the parents. They are starting to get frustrated, sure, but let's look at the bright side. They get to spend more time with their kids! And who wouldn't want that? Plus, they can use this time to teach their kids those life skills we just talked about. It's a win-win situation, really.
So, what's next? The two sides are scheduled to meet again on Friday, but it's unclear if they will be able to reach an agreement. In the meantime, the strike is likely to continue, and students will continue to suffer. But fear not, dear reader, for I have a solution. Let's just give the union what they want. Let's invest in thriving communities, house homeless students, and get rid of rats. And you know what? Let's throw in some grilled cheese sandwiches and tire-changing lessons while we're at it. It might cost over $1 billion, but who cares? We can just print more money, right?
In conclusion, the Oakland teachers strike is a mess. But it's also kind of funny. I mean, who knew that rats would be such a big issue? Or that grilled cheese sandwiches would be so important? But in all seriousness, let's hope that the two sides can come to an agreement soon, and that students can get back to their education. And if not, well, at least they'll know how to make a mean grilled cheese sandwich.
Strike Day 7: $1 billion estimate is ‘ridiculous’ fiction, Oakland teachers union says https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/strike-day-7-1-billion-estimate-is-ridiculous-fiction-oakland-teachers-union-says/
