HI-HO, HI-HO, IT'S OFF TO WAR WE GO PART II: A CENTURY OF AMERICAN BOYS DYING FOR OIL (AND THE BILLIONAIRES WHO LOVE THEM)

 

HI-HO, HI-HO, IT'S OFF TO WAR WE GO PART II

A CENTURY OF AMERICAN BOYS DYING FOR OIL (AND THE BILLIONAIRES WHO LOVE THEM)

PROLOGUE: THE MOST EXPENSIVE RERUNS IN HISTORY

Here we go again, folks.

It's December 2025, and the United States Navy—the most powerful maritime force ever assembled by human civilization—is currently playing a very expensive game of "Red Rover" in the Caribbean. The USS Gerald R. Ford, a $13 billion floating city that could fund the entire public school system of Ohio for a year, is leading what President Trump calls "the largest Armada ever assembled in South America."

The mission? To make sure ExxonMobil gets paid.

Now, before you accuse me of cynicism, let me be clear: I'm not being cynical. I'm being accurate. Because if you squint hard enough at the last 115 years of American foreign policy in Venezuela, you'll see the same movie playing on an endless loop—only the special effects get better, and the body count gets higher.

This time, though, the sequel has some exciting new features: Chinese satellites tracking our carrier groups in real-time, Iranian suicide drones assembled in "IKEA Model" kits, Russian hypersonic missiles that can't be intercepted, and a Colombian president who told us to go fuck ourselves.

It's like Apocalypse Now meets The Big Short, directed by the Coen Brothers, with a soundtrack by Rage Against the Machine.

So buckle up, dear reader. We're about to take a journey through a century of American imperialism, corporate plunder, legal gymnastics, and the kind of foreign policy that makes you wonder if we're the baddies. Spoiler alert: we might be.

ACT I: THE GOLDEN AGE (OR, HOW WE LEARNED TO LOVE OTHER PEOPLE'S OIL)

1922: The Barroso No. 2 Blowout—When Venezuela Became "Important"

Let's start at the beginning. In 1922, a well called "Barroso No. 2" blew out in the Maracaibo Basin, shooting 100,000 barrels of crude oil per day into the Venezuelan sky for nine straight days. It was, by all accounts, a magnificent disaster—a black geyser visible for miles, coating the jungle in petroleum like some kind of capitalist baptism.

American oilmen saw that geyser and heard angels singing.

Within a decade, Standard Oil (later Exxon), Gulf Oil (later Chevron), and Mobil had swarmed into Venezuela like locusts at a buffet. By the 1930s, they controlled 98% of production. Not 98% of foreign production—98% of all production. Venezuela's government might as well have been a middle manager at a Houston refinery.

During World War II, Venezuela became the primary oil supplier to the Allies. American boys stormed the beaches of Normandy on Venezuelan gasoline. The "Arsenal of Democracy" ran on crude pumped by American companies from Venezuelan soil, with Venezuelan workers paid Venezuelan wages (read: peanuts), while the profits flowed north to Manhattan boardrooms.

By the 1950s, Venezuela was the second-largest oil producer on Earth, trailing only the United States itself. The country was rich—if by "the country" you mean "a handful of oligarchs and American shareholders." The average Venezuelan? Not so much.

1943: The 50/50 Deal—A "Fair" Split (If You Ignore Who Built the Infrastructure)

To Venezuela's credit, they did push back. In 1943, the government passed the Hydrocarbons Law, which mandated a 50/50 profit split between the state and the oil companies. This was considered revolutionary at the time—a model that spread across the Middle East and Latin America.

But here's the thing about a 50/50 split: it only works if both parties have equal leverage. And when one party controls the technology, the refineries, the tankers, the distribution networks, and the global market, "50/50" is a bit like letting the house keep half your winnings at a casino where they also own the dice.

Still, it was better than nothing. And for three decades, this arrangement held. American companies got fabulously wealthy. Venezuela got moderately wealthy. Everyone was happy.

Well, not everyone. The Venezuelan people, for instance, were not particularly thrilled about being a resource colony. But who cares what they think? They don't have aircraft carriers.

ACT II: THE NATIONALIZATION (OR, WHEN VENEZUELA GOT UPPITY)

1976: "Thanks for the Memories, Now Get Out"

In 1976, President Carlos Andrés Pérez did something radical: he nationalized the oil industry.

Now, before you clutch your pearls, understand that this was actually one of the most orderly nationalizations in history. The Venezuelan government paid American companies roughly $1 billion in compensation (about $5.4 billion in today's money), and many of those companies stayed on as "technical service providers." It was a divorce where both parties agreed to stay friends for the kids.

The newly created PDVSA (Petróleos de Venezuela, S.A.) became one of the most professional state oil companies in the world. It hired the best engineers, maintained partnerships with American firms, and for two decades, everything was fine.

But here's the problem with nationalizing your resources: it only works if you stay nationalized. Because the moment you need capital or technology, the Americans come back. And they always come back with contracts.

The 1990s: "Apertura Petrolera"—Or, "We're Back, Baby!"

By the 1990s, Venezuela faced a problem: the easy oil was gone. What remained was the Orinoco Belt, home to some of the largest oil reserves on Earth—but it was "extra-heavy" crude, the kind that's more like tar than liquid. Extracting it required advanced technology and billions in investment.

So Venezuela reopened its doors to foreign companies in what was called the Apertura Petrolera (Oil Opening). Chevron, ConocoPhillips, and ExxonMobil came roaring back, signing joint ventures and service contracts.

And in a move that would later prove catastrophic, Venezuela bought CITGO—a network of refineries and gas stations in the United States—to ensure a dedicated market for its heavy crude. It seemed like a smart vertical integration play.

It was actually a hostage situation waiting to happen.

ACT III: THE CHÁVEZ ERA (OR, "FUCK YOUR CONTRACTS")

1999: Enter the Comandante

In 1999, Hugo Chávez was elected president on a wave of populist fury. His pitch was simple: Venezuela's oil wealth should belong to Venezuelans, not ExxonMobil shareholders.

Radical stuff, I know.

For a few years, Chávez played nice. But in 2007, he dropped the hammer: all foreign oil companies had to accept minority stakes (40% or less) in joint ventures, with PDVSA holding at least 60%.

Chevron said yes. They're still there today, operating under special U.S. Treasury licenses, because Chevron understands that half a loaf is better than no loaf (and also because they're very good at lobbying).

ExxonMobil and ConocoPhillips said no. They walked away, confident that international law and arbitration tribunals would protect them.

Chávez seized their assets.

The $21 Billion Question: Who Owns What?

What followed was a decade-long legal battle that makes Jarndyce v. Jarndyce look like small claims court.

ExxonMobil sued Venezuela in every international tribunal that would listen. In 2014, they won an initial award of $1.6 billion. After years of appeals and annulments, a final award of $985 million plus interest was confirmed in 2025.

ConocoPhillips won even bigger: $8.7 billion.

But here's the problem: Venezuela has no money. PDVSA is bankrupt. The government is broke. So how do you collect?

Answer: You seize CITGO.

Because CITGO is a U.S.-based company, it's subject to U.S. courts. And U.S. courts have ruled that PDVSA is the "alter ego" of the Venezuelan government, meaning creditors can go after its assets.

So now, in late 2025, CITGO is being auctioned off to pay $21 billion in debts to ExxonMobil, ConocoPhillips, and a parade of other creditors. The winning bid? $5.9 billion from Amber Energy (a subsidiary of Elliott Investment Management, the vulture fund that once seized an Argentine naval vessel).

The sale is expected to close in early 2026—assuming the U.S. Treasury approves, and assuming Venezuela doesn't start World War III first.

ACT IV: THE BLOCKADE (OR, "MAXIMUM PRESSURE 2.0")

December 2025: The Armada Arrives

Let's fast-forward to today. President Trump has declared a "Total Blockade" of Venezuela. Not a sanctions regime. Not a trade embargo. An actual, physical, naval blockade—the kind of thing that used to be considered an act of war.

The fleet includes:

• USS Gerald R. Ford: A nuclear-powered supercarrier with 75 aircraft
• USS Iwo Jima: An amphibious assault ship carrying Marines and helicopters
• Multiple Arleigh Burke-class destroyers: Equipped with Aegis radar systems
• A Los Angeles-class submarine: For the stealth factor
• Coast Guard and Navy SEAL teams: For boarding "sanctioned" tankers

In the past two weeks alone, U.S. forces have seized multiple tankers, including the Skipper (carrying 1.1 million barrels of oil) and the Centuries. Boarding teams rappel from helicopters onto the decks of ships in international waters, detain the crews, and sail the vessels to U.S. ports.

The official justification? Venezuela is a "narco-terrorist state" and a Foreign Terrorist Organization (FTO), which gives the U.S. military broad authority to use lethal force.

The actual justification? ExxonMobil wants its money.

The Legal Gymnastics: How a Blockade Became "Counterterrorism"

Here's where it gets legally bonkers.

Traditionally, a naval blockade is an act of war under international law. You can't just park your aircraft carrier off someone's coast and start seizing ships without a UN Security Council resolution or a declaration of war.

But the Trump administration has found a workaround: terrorism.

By designating the Maduro government as an FTO, the U.S. has reclassified the blockade as a "counterterrorism operation." This is the same legal framework used to justify drone strikes in Yemen, Somalia, and Pakistan.

It's also, let's be honest, completely insane. Venezuela is not ISIS. It's a failing petrostate with a authoritarian government, sure—but so is half the Middle East, and we're not blockading them.

The difference? ExxonMobil doesn't have $1.6 billion in arbitration awards against Saudi Arabia.

ACT V: THE AXIS OF RESISTANCE (OR, "MY ENEMY'S ENEMY HAS HYPERSONIC MISSILES")

Russia: The "Sovereignty Shield"

Now, if you're Venezuela, and the U.S. Navy is parked off your coast, you have two options:

1. Surrender
2. Call your friends

Maduro chose option two.

Enter Russia, which has spent the last year turning Venezuela into a porcupine—a country too painful to invade.

The Arsenal:

• S-300VM air defense systems: 250 km range, capable of shooting down aircraft and cruise missiles
• Buk-M2E medium-range missiles: For layered defense
• 5,000+ Igla-S MANPADS: Shoulder-fired missiles to target helicopters
• Pantsir-S1 point-defense systems: For close-range protection
• And the big one: Oreshnik hypersonic missiles

In December 2025, Russia issued a "fatal mistake" warning to the U.S., confirming it is prepared to supply hypersonic missiles to Venezuela. These weapons travel at Mach 10+, can maneuver mid-flight, and are virtually impossible to intercept with current U.S. missile defense systems.

Translation: If Russia sends these missiles, the USS Gerald R. Ford—that $13 billion symbol of American power—becomes a $13 billion target.

Iran: The Drone Swarm

If Russia is providing the shield, Iran is providing the sword.

Specifically, suicide drones.

Venezuela is now producing (or assembling) several types of Iranian drones at the El Libertador Air Base in Maracay:

• ANSU-100 ("Arpía"): ISR drones for surveillance
• ANSU-200 ("Flying Wing"): Stealth drones modeled on the Iranian Shahed-171
• Zamora V-1: Venezuelan-assembled Shahed-131 kamikaze drones
• Mohajer-6: Multi-role combat UAVs with laser-guided munitions

Here's the terrifying math: A Zamora V-1 costs about $20,000 to produce. The U.S. interceptor missile used to shoot it down costs $1 million+.

If Venezuela launches a swarm of 50 drones at the carrier group, the U.S. would need to fire 50+ interceptor missiles—assuming perfect accuracy. That's $50 million to stop $1 million worth of drones.

And if even one drone gets through and hits the flight deck during refueling operations? You're looking at a catastrophic fire on a nuclear-powered warship.

This is called asymmetric warfare, and it's why the Pentagon is terrified of this conflict escalating.

China: The Eyes in the Sky

And then there's China, playing the long game.

China isn't sending weapons (officially). Instead, it's providing something far more valuable: intelligence.

The VRSS-1 and VRSS-2 satellites (built and launched by China) are currently providing Venezuela with:

• Real-time tracking of U.S. warship positions
• High-resolution optical and infrared imagery
• Night vision capabilities via short-wave infrared cameras

In December 2025, Venezuelan officials confirmed they were using "satellite assets" to track the exact position of the USS Gerald R. Ford carrier group.

China has also integrated Venezuela into the BeiDou navigation system (China's version of GPS), which means Venezuelan drones and missiles can't be "spoofed" or jammed by U.S. electronic warfare.

Oh, and there's the El Sombrero Ground Station—a "civilian" satellite facility in Guárico state that's staffed by Chinese aerospace engineers and serves as the intelligence brain for Venezuela's coastal defense.

ACT VI: THE REGIONAL DUMPSTER FIRE (OR, "THANKS, WE HATE IT")

Colombia: "Do Not Wake the Jaguar"

If you thought this was just about Venezuela, think again.

Colombia—America's most loyal ally in South America for decades—is now on the brink of open conflict with the United States.

President Gustavo Petro, a former guerrilla fighter, has:

• Had his U.S. visa revoked after criticizing American "imperialism" at the UN
• Warned that a U.S. intervention will turn Venezuela into "another Syria", causing a civil war that will spill into Colombia
• Issued a stern warning: "Do not wake the jaguar"—any U.S. military strike on Colombian soil will be considered a declaration of war
• Refused to allow U.S. ships to use Colombian ports for blockade operations

Meanwhile, the ELN (National Liberation Army) has declared an "armed strike" in response to the U.S. buildup. In mid-December 2025, they launched drone and explosive attacks on Colombian military bases, killing seven soldiers.

Colombia is also hosting 3+ million Venezuelan refugees. If the blockade triggers a fresh exodus, Colombia's economy—already strained—will collapse.

And the U.S. response? We "decertified" Colombia in the war on drugs, accusing Petro of being a "drug leader" and cutting security funding.

So now our closest ally in the region hates us. Great work, everyone.

The Clan del Golfo: When You Accidentally Create a Terrorist Army

Oh, and remember the Clan del Golfo—Colombia's largest drug cartel?

On December 16, 2025, the U.S. designated them as a Foreign Terrorist Organization (FTO).

This sounds tough, but it actually destroyed ongoing peace negotiations in Qatar. The Clan del Golfo was in the middle of talks to demobilize in March 2026. Now? Those talks are dead.

The FTO designation also means:

• Anyone who provides "material support" (including food or logistics) can be prosecuted
• The U.S. has a legal pathway for drone strikes against cartel leaders
• Banks and multinationals are fleeing northern Colombia to avoid sanctions

The Clan del Golfo controls the Darién Gap, where they "tax" migrants crossing into Panama (about $100 million annually). They also manage the "shore-to-ship" drug transfers in the Caribbean.

So by designating them as terrorists, we've:

1. Killed the peace process
2. Ensured another decade of war
3. Given them a propaganda victory ("We're freedom fighters now!")
4. Made the migrant crisis worse

Slow clap for American foreign policy.

ACT VII: THE WARFARE OF THE FUTURE (OR, "THIS IS GOING TO SUCK")

What Happens If Shooting Starts?

Let's game this out.

If the U.S. decides to escalate from blockade to invasion, here's what we're facing:

Phase 1: The Drone Swarm

• Venezuela launches 50-100 kamikaze drones at the carrier group
• U.S. destroyers fire interceptor missiles (cost: $50-100 million)
• Some drones get through
• Best case: Minor damage. Worst case: Catastrophic fire on the Ford

Phase 2: The Hypersonic Threat

• Russia delivers Oreshnik missiles to Venezuela
• These missiles are impossible to intercept with current technology
• The Ford has to retreat to safer waters (read: the Atlantic)
• The blockade becomes unenforceable

Phase 3: The Guerrilla Nightmare

• U.S. forces invade and topple Maduro (relatively easy)
• Then what?
• Venezuela has 125,000+ active military personnel and a 4 million-strong militia
• The terrain is jungle, mountains, and urban slums—perfect for insurgency
• Iran, Russia, and Cuba provide training and weapons
• We're now fighting a multi-decade counterinsurgency in South America

Phase 4: The Regional Collapse

• Millions of refugees flood Colombia, Brazil, and Central America
• The ELN and other rebel groups explode in size
• The Clan del Golfo becomes a full-blown terrorist army
• China and Russia establish permanent military bases in the region
• The Monroe Doctrine dies, and we lose Latin America for a generation

Cost estimate: $2-5 trillion over 20 years, plus thousands of American lives.

Benefit: ExxonMobil gets paid.

ACT VIII: THE TRUMP DOCTRINE (OR, "LET'S MAKE ENEMIES EVERYWHERE")

Cuba: "We're Taking It Back"

As if Venezuela wasn't enough, Trump has also suggested seizing Cuba.

Not regime change. Not sanctions. Seizing. As in, annexation.

The justification? Cuba is "helping" Venezuela and "harboring terrorists."

The reality? Trump wants to undo the Obama-era détente and play to his base in Florida.

Greenland: "I'm Not Joking This Time"

Trump has also renewed his offer to buy Greenland from Denmark, and when they said no (again), he suggested the U.S. might need to "secure" it for "national security reasons."

Greenland, for those keeping track, is:

1. Not for sale
2. A NATO ally's territory
3. Inhabited by 56,000 people who have no interest in becoming Americans

But it has rare earth minerals and a strategic location, so Trump wants it.

Panama: "We Want the Canal Back"

And then there's Panama.

Trump has demanded that Panama "renegotiate" the Canal treaties or face unspecified consequences. He's argued that China has "too much influence" over the Canal (they don't operate it, but Chinese companies do use it a lot).

The problem? The U.S. gave up the Canal in 1999 under a treaty signed by Jimmy Carter. It's Panamanian sovereign territory.

But Trump doesn't care about treaties. He cares about leverage.

The Pattern: Transactional Imperialism

Here's the through-line:

Trump views foreign policy as a real estate deal. Countries are properties. Resources are assets. Alliances are leases.

If you're useful, you get protection (see: Chevron's special license).

If you're not, you get crushed (see: Venezuela, Cuba, Greenland, Panama).

There's no ideology here. No "spreading democracy." No "liberal world order."

Just power, profit, and ego.

ACT IX: THE LONG-TERM IMPLICATIONS (OR, "WE'RE FUCKED")

The Death of the Monroe Doctrine

For 200 years, the Monroe Doctrine has been the cornerstone of U.S. policy in Latin America: "Stay out of our hemisphere, and we'll stay out of yours."

It was always hypocritical (we intervened constantly), but it worked—because we offered something in return: trade, investment, and protection.

Trump's approach is different: "Give us what we want, or we'll destroy you."

The result? Latin America is turning to China and Russia.

• Brazil has joined China's Belt and Road Initiative
• Argentina is buying Chinese fighter jets
• Mexico is cozying up to Beijing
• Colombia is in open revolt

We're losing the hemisphere—not to communism, but to our own arrogance.

The Credibility Crisis

Every time the U.S. violates international law (blockades, seizures, assassinations), we make it harder to criticize Russia (Ukraine) or China (Taiwan).

When we lecture the world about "rules-based order" while seizing tankers in international waters, we sound like hypocrites.

And hypocrisy is the fastest way to lose global leadership.

The Human Cost

Let's not forget: Real people are suffering.

Venezuela's economy has collapsed. Inflation is in the millions of percent. Hospitals have no medicine. Children are starving.

And our response? Make it worse with sanctions and blockades.

Yes, Maduro is a authoritarian thug. But the Venezuelan people didn't choose him (the last election was widely considered fraudulent), and they're the ones paying the price for our "Maximum Pressure" campaign.

Meanwhile, American soldiers are being sent into harm's way—not to defend democracy, not to stop genocide, but to collect a debt for ExxonMobil.

EPILOGUE: THE SAME MOVIE, DIFFERENT DECADE

So here we are, in December 2025, watching the same film we've seen a hundred times before:

• 1898: We "liberated" Cuba from Spain (and then occupied it for 60 years)
• 1954: We overthrew Guatemala's government (for the United Fruit Company)
• 1961: We invaded Cuba (Bay of Pigs)
• 1965: We invaded the Dominican Republic (to stop "communism")
• 1973: We backed a coup in Chile (for ITT and Anaconda Copper)
• 1983: We invaded Grenada (because Reagan needed a win)
• 1989: We invaded Panama (to arrest a drug dealer we used to work with)
• 2002: We backed a coup attempt in Venezuela (it failed)
• 2025: We're blockading Venezuela (for ExxonMobil)

The script never changes. Only the actors.

And the punchline? It never works.

Every intervention creates more problems than it solves. Every coup breeds resentment. Every invasion creates insurgents.

But we keep doing it. Because there's always another oilfield, another mineral deposit, another "strategic interest" that requires American boys to die in a jungle somewhere.

THE BOTTOM LINE

If you're wondering why the U.S. is risking World War III over Venezuela, the answer is simple:

Money.

Not "democracy." Not "human rights." Not "stopping terrorism."

Money.

ExxonMobil wants $1.6 billion. ConocoPhillips wants $8.7 billion. Elliott Investment Management wants $5.9 billion.

And the U.S. government—which is supposed to represent the American people—has decided that collecting those debts is worth:

• Deploying a $13 billion aircraft carrier
• Risking American lives
• Alienating our allies
• Empowering Russia and China
• Destabilizing an entire region

All so a handful of oil executives and hedge fund managers can get paid.

And if you think I'm being cynical, ask yourself this:

If Venezuela didn't have oil, would we give a damn?

The answer, as always, is no.

So here we go again, marching off to war for Big Oil.

Hi-ho, hi-ho.

POSTSCRIPT: A Modest Proposal

Since we're apparently willing to spend $2-5 trillion and thousands of American lives to secure oil assets, might I suggest an alternative?

Invest that money in renewable energy.

For $2 trillion, we could:

• Build a nationwide high-speed rail network
• Install solar panels on every American home
• Transition the entire U.S. vehicle fleet to electric
• Create millions of jobs
• Never fight another war for oil again

But that would require long-term thinking, political courage, and a willingness to challenge corporate power.

So instead, we'll send the Navy to the Caribbean and hope the hypersonic missiles miss.

God bless America. 🇺🇸

The author is available for speaking engagements, provided the venue is not in a country we're currently blockading.

Big Education Ape: HI HO, HI HO, IT’S OFF TO WAR WE GO: TRUMP’S TROPICAL TANGO FOR VENEZUELAN BLACK GOLD https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2025/12/hi-ho-hi-ho-its-off-to-war-we-go-trumps.html