TOP BANANA: TOP READS THIS WEEK 9-23-23
Big Education Ape: GLORIA JOHNSON STANDING TALL FOR TENNESSEE https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/gloria-johnson-standing-tall-for.html
Big Education Ape: DUHSANTIS IS KILLING SCIENCE IN FLORIDA https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/duhsantis-is-killing-science-in-florida.html
Big Education Ape: NORTH CAROLINA BUDGET: CUTS FUNDING TO PUBLIC SCHOOLS, CASTRATES NC BOARD OF EDUCATION, EXPANDS VOUCHERS https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/north-carolina-budget-cuts-funding-to.html
Big Education Ape: OH GOD, THE NEW NEW MATH: A CRISIS OF NUMBERS AND NOSENSE https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/oh-god-new-new-math-crisis-of-numbers.html
Big Education Ape: FROM HOMEROOM TO HYSTERIA: HOW MAGA POLITICAL CONFLICT IS RUINING HIGH SCHOOL https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/from-homeroom-to-hysteria-how-maga.html
Big Education Ape: MAGA BEATS DFER AT THEIR OWN GAME: WHO WOULD OF THOUGHT https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/maga-beats-dfer-at-their-own-game-who.html
Big Education Ape: CHATBOTS: THE NEW HOMEWORK HELPERS OR FUTURE ROBOT OVERLORDS https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/chatbots-new-homework-helpers-or-future.html
Big Education Ape: STUDENT LOANS: THE NEW VAMPIRES OF THE ECONOMY https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/student-loans-new-vampires-of-economy.html
OTHER GREAT READS THIS WEEK FROM THE BIG EDUCATION APE
Big Education Ape: FIRE IN PARADISE: HOW YOU CAN HELP THE PEOPLE OF MAUI #mauihawaii #maui #mauifire #fire #devastation #prayers https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/08/fire-in-paradise-how-you-can-help.html
YESTERDAY
Are you tired of your kids attending boring public schools? Do you want to give them the cheapest education money can buy? Well, look no further than Odyssey Grants! The private company that's here to save the day...or is it? Odyssey Grants provides grants to students who are eligible for Education Savings Accounts (ESAs). These ESAs allow students to use public funds to pay for private school t
TO PREVENT LGBTQ USING OF SCHOOL FACILITIES CLOVIS TELL THE REST OF THE COMMUNITY TO GO TO HELL In a recent decision, the Clovis Unified School District has decided to prevent LGBTQ+ groups from using school facilities during school days. This decision has caused quite a stir in the community, with some parents arguing that it's their right to know about all aspects of their child's development.
KEVIN MCCARTHY'S HOUSE SPEAKERSHIP THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL MAY BE A FREIGHT TRAIN In a shocking turn of events, Kevin McCarthy's bid for House Speaker is in danger due to his inability to count to five. As we reported earlier, Republicans hold a narrow majority in the House, with 222 seats to Democrats' 212. This means that McCarthy can only afford to lose five Republican votes in orde
Mississippi State Auditor Shad White has proposed defunding several college majors, including Urban Studies, Anthropology, Sociology, German Literature, African Studies, Gender Studies, and Women's Studies. Why, you ask? Because they are apparently "useless" and "garbage fields." In a stunning move, White has suggested that the state should only fund degrees in engineering and business that will
SEP 21
In a stunning display of fiscal acrobatics, North Carolina's Republican legislative leaders have unveiled their grand plan for the state's education system. Brace yourselves, folks, because this budget is a real knee-slapper. First up on the comedy lineup, we have the raise in teacher salaries. Now, you might think that increasing the pay of these hardworking educators is a good thing. But oh no
In a recent turn of events, it seems that the Texas Crown Act, a law designed to prevent racial discrimination based on hairstyles, may only apply to white students. That's right, folks, it looks like black students are still screwed when it comes to school dress codes. Take the case of Darryl George, a high school student at Barbers Hill High School in Texas. Darryl has been serving in-school s
Attention all rednecks! Have you heard about the latest Tik Tok challenge? It's called the Redneck Book Banning Challenge, and it's taking the nation by storm. The challenge is simple: who can ban the most books from libraries and schools? And guess what? The red states seem to be walking away with it! Now, I know what you're thinking. "But wait a minute, isn't book banning a serious problem?" W
Standardized testing sucks worse than a cheap vacuum cleaner. There, I said it. As a high school English teacher, I've seen firsthand how these tests have become a tyrant that sucks the life out of learning. It's time to stop prioritizing test scores over student learning and start focusing on what really matters. Let's be real here, standardized tests only determine which students are good at t
In a shocking turn of events, the Biden administration has discovered that historically Black land-grant colleges have been underfunded by hundreds of millions, if not billions, of dollars over the past 30 years. Education Secretary Miguel Cardona and Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack signed the memos, which are the first time the government has attempted to put a comprehensive number on the fin
SEP 20
Dads, listen up! You may think that your role in your child's education is limited to paying for their textbooks and nagging them to do their homework, but a recent study has shown that you can do so much more. In fact, you can be the key to unlocking your child's full potential! According to the University of Leeds, fathers who engage in playful and educational activities with their children ca
In a bizarre turn of events, a Texas middle school teacher has been fired for reading a passage from an illustrated version of Anne Frank's diary that included discussions of male and female genitalia. Yes, you heard that right. Apparently, the school district deemed this "unapproved" literature, and decided to give the teacher the boot. Now, I don't know about you, but when I think of Anne Fran
France’s schools are SO screwed up that they could easily be mistaken for a red state in the US. It's like they're mirroring the right wing policies in American education. And we all know how that usually goes - it always begins with defunding. But what's even more hilarious is that the media only focuses on culture wars issues, just like in the US. Sound familiar? It should, because it's right
Ah, corporal punishment in schools. The age-old tradition of smacking kids' bottoms to teach them a lesson. Because apparently, nothing says "I'm here to educate you" like a good old-fashioned spanking. But hey, it's 2023, people! We have self-driving cars and robots that can do our laundry. Can't we come up with a more civilized way to discipline our children? Now, I'm not saying that kids shou
In a recent hearing, Oklahoma State Superintendent Ryan Walters, also known as the Mad Maga Monk of Oklahoma Education, spoke on behalf of the Koch Network and made some bold claims about Chinese influence in American schools. According to Walters, the Chinese government is actively running or ruining schools in the US, using a program called Confucius Classrooms as a front organization to sprea
SEP 19
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Sunshine State, where the sun is hot, the beaches are sandy, and the science is...dead? That's right folks, Governor Ron DeSantis is killing science in Florida faster than you can say "climate change is a hoax." In a recent op-ed in Scientific American, it was revealed that Florida's new laws are restricting discussions on race, gender, and sexuality in schoo
OH GOD, THE NEW NEW MATH: A CRISIS OF NUMBERS AND NONSENSE It's official: the US education system is in a state of crisis. And no, we're not talking about the pandemic (although that's certainly not helping things). We're talking about the math crisis. That's right, folks, we're in the midst of a full-blown math emergency, and it's all thanks to the New New Math. Now, you may be thinking to yours
Public education, oh how we love to hate it. From the endless standardized testing to the budget cuts that leave our schools looking like they were decorated by a hoarder, it's no wonder we're all a little bit skeptical of the system. But have you ever wondered how public education got so screwed up? Let me give you a hint: it involves billionaires and their thirst for power. The oligarchy of bi
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather around because I have a story to tell you. It's a story about a secret code word that billionaires use to destroy public education. You see, they don't just come out and say they want to privatize everything. No, no, no. They're much sneakier than that. They use a term that sounds harmless enough, but it's really the beginning of the end for our schoo
In a move that has left teachers and parents alike scratching their heads, the Houston Independent School District (HISD) has implemented a new education system (NES) that seems to be more about control than education. And Superintendent Meataxe Mike Miles is leading the charge. Under the NES, teachers are required to follow tightly scripted lessons, engage students every four minutes, and admin
SEP 18
In a world where satire reigns supreme, one ex-South Park writer has taken it upon himself to create a parody website that has conservative moms in a tizzy. Toby Morton, known for his wit and sharp tongue, has targeted Moms for Liberty, a group seeking to ban books containing anything remotely related to race, gender, LGBTQ themes, or sexual content. And boy, has he hit a nerve! Morton's website
In a world where school shootings have sadly become all too common, the School District of Philadelphia has decided to take a unique and whimsical approach to ensure the safety of their students and staff. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you ALICE training – an acronym that stands for Alert, Lockdown, Inform, Counter, Evacuate. But don't worry, this isn't your typical run-of-the-mill safety d
Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your hats because Gloria Johnson is standing tall for Tennessee and she's ready to take on the one and only MAGA big mouth Marsha Blackburn in the race for the US Senate. That's right, folks, we've got ourselves a showdown. Now, you might be thinking, "Who is Gloria Johnson?" Well, let me tell you, she's one of the Tennessee Three, a 27-year special education teac
The Libertarian Billionaire Privatier Front Organization, also known as Democrats for Education Reform (DFER), is in shock over the success of MAGA in privatizing public education. They claim they should get the credit for F---ing up public education, not MAGA, who are just Johnny-come-lately to the privatization game. Now that cultural warriors are succeeding, DFER is wringing their hands and w
Attention all students! The Sacramento City Unified School District has officially banned the use of AI without the guidance and approval of a teacher. That's right, no more relying on ChatGPT to write your essays or complete your math homework. But don't worry, we've got the inside scoop on how the district is keeping a watchful eye on your AI usage. First off, let's talk consequences. If you'r
SEP 17
It's no secret that the political climate in the United States is a bit tense right now. But did you know that this tension has seeped its way into our public schools? That's right, folks, MAGA madness has officially come to our classrooms. According to a recent report by John Rogers and Joseph Kahne, political conflicts have had a chilling effect on public education. But let's be real, what's m
Artificial Intelligence (AI) has made its way into our classrooms, and it's causing quite a stir. Teachers are scrambling to keep up with the latest technology, while students are wondering if the robots will take over their education. But fear not, my fellow humans, for AI is just another tool to be used in learning. And let's be honest, with all the cheating and laziness that goes on in school
As the saying goes, "money makes the world go round," and for many Americans, that money comes in the form of student loans. But starting October 1st, those loans will begin to suck the life out of the economy, as borrowers are forced to make monthly payments once again. This news has left many students feeling like they've been hit with a ton of bricks (or should we say, debt?). After all, it's
SEP 16
In a recent turn of events, a federal judge has granted a preliminary injunction allowing teachers to out transgender and nonbinary students to their parents in California. The decision has left many scratching their heads, wondering if we've somehow traveled back to the dark ages. According to the judge, a parent's right to make decisions concerning their children is one of the oldest fundament
In a move that has left the American public scratching their heads in disbelief, US Special Counsel Jack Smith has requested that a judge put a gag order on former President Donald Trump. Yes, you heard that right. A gag order. On Trump. The man who can't seem to keep his mouth shut even if his life depended on it. The order, if approved, would limit what Trump can say publicly about the federal
TOP BANANA: TOP READS THIS WEEK 9-16-23 Big Education Ape: JULIE HUPP ROCKLIN USD BOARD PRES: JESUS SAVES TEACHERS UNION DOESN'T https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/julie-hupp-rocklin-usd-board-pres-jesus.html Big Education Ape: HAVING 'THE MAN' ON CAMPUS: COPS DOING THE JOB OR WINDOW DRESSING https://bigeducationape.blogspot.com/2023/09/having-man-on-campus-cops-doing-job-or.html Big Ed
