Talking to Children About the Pandemic and Everything
In a recent interview in The New York Times Magazine, children's book author Mo Willems was asked if he had any advice for parents struggling to talk with their children about difficult things, like the pandemic.
"Probably the most fundamental insight is that even a good childhood is difficult: You're powerless; the furniture is not made your size. But when parents come up to me and ask, "How do you talk to the kid about the pandemic?" they're asking me to be disloyal. They're actually asking about a form of control. "Hey, you have this relationship with kids. Help me control them." (Expletive) you! I'm not on your side."
I would have said it differently, but he puts his finger on a central challenge in the relationship between children and the important adults in their lives. Even those of us who don't believe it's right for adults to control the kids struggle with it. Of course, most of us have learned to not physically and emotionally bully children into obedience, but this drive to control them creeps in nevertheless. Willems' point, I think, is that the moment we begin to strategize about our relationship with a child we are seeking to manufacture a response that satisfies our own emotional needs, to control them for our own ends. None of us like to be manipulated. We rebel when we detect that someone, be it a salesman, guru, or lover, is using their words to steer us. It's the same with children.
When we tell ourselves "But it's for their own good" we set ourselves up as the experts on their bodies and minds, CONTINUE READING: Teacher Tom: Talking to Children About the Pandemic and Everything