Thursday, May 20, 2010

Dr. D. Rigour Is Baaack: Commie Core Standards? - THE DAILY RIFF - Be Smarter. About Education.

Dr. D. Rigour Is Baaack: Commie Core Standards? - THE DAILY RIFF - Be Smarter. About Education.

Dr. D. Rigour Is Baaack: Commie Core Standards?



Commie Core Standards?

Will Connecticut Students Learn How To Skin Gators &
Mississippi Students Love Arugula With Their Raspberry Vinaigrette?


by Dr. D. Rigour
Thought Leader Extraordinaire Humor


State Governors have convened again to bring in a system of Common Core Standards across the country so that all children will be taught exactly the same thing in English and Math from kindergarten through high school.

(And not, in my mind, coincidentally the major beverage companies have simultaneously announced a plan to remove sugary sodas from schools! The terrifying logic from the fizzy drink giants is that, as the national body of students, deprived of corn syrup, lapses into a countrywide coma brought on by conformist doses of Pythagorean theory and non- rhyming poetry those same Governors will plead with them to reenter the schools and supersize the portions doled out to induce a level of ADHD suitable to the new learning challenge.)

Feast your eyes on the draft of the Common Standards in English! Page after page of detailed specifications for what teachers must teach and students must learn. Reading this is such a delightful way to spend my time because no one else will, and that very fact, my friends, will confirm my stature as being smarter than everyone else in the room.