STUDENT LOANS: THE NEW VAMPIRES OF THE ECONOMY
As the saying goes, "money makes the world go round," and for many Americans, that money comes in the form of student loans. But starting October 1st, those loans will begin to suck the life out of the economy, as borrowers are forced to make monthly payments once again.
This news has left many students feeling like they've been hit with a ton of bricks (or should we say, debt?). After all, it's not like they've been living the high life since March 2020, when payments were temporarily suspended due to the pandemic. Most have been scraping by on ramen noodles and dollar store snacks, trying to make ends meet while juggling classes, work, and a social life (well, at least a socially distanced one).
But now, with payments looming on the horizon, students are tightening their belts even further. They're cutting back on everything from clothes to coffee, worried that they won't be able to make ends meet once those loan payments start rolling in.
And it's not just students who are feeling the pinch. Retailers across the country are bracing for a potential slowdown in spending, as consumers divert their hard-earned cash towards loan payments instead of shopping sprees. This has led to some hilarious headlines, such as "Student Loans Threaten to Turn Fashionistas into Frugalistas" and "Loan Payments Leave Starbucks Baristas High and Dry."
But while students may be feeling the pain, Republicans are quick to remind them that bailing out businesses is far more important than helping out the average Joe (or Jane). After all, corporations are people too (at least in the eyes of the law), while students are just a bunch of broke millennials who need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps (which they can't afford to buy).
But fear not, dear readers, for the Biden administration has come up with a solution that is sure to put a smile on your face (or at least a smirk). They've rolled out a program that allows borrowers to make monthly payments based on a small percentage of their discretionary income. So if you're currently living on a diet of ramen and instant coffee, you'll only have to pay a fraction of what your more well-off counterparts are shelling out.
Of course, this program comes with its own set of challenges. For starters, it can be difficult to determine what counts as discretionary income when you're barely scraping by. Is that extra pack of ramen noodles discretionary? What about the occasional trip to the dollar store for some non-essential snacks?
And then there's the issue of paperwork. Applying for this program can be a bureaucratic nightmare, with endless forms to fill out and documents to provide. It's enough to make you want to throw your laptop out the window and scream into the void.
But in the end, isn't that what being a student is all about? Navigating complex systems, juggling competing demands, and finding humor in even the most dire of situations? So go forth, dear readers, and face those loan payments with a smile on your face (or at least a grimace). After all, laughter is the best medicine - unless you're trying to pay off your student loans.
Student-Loan Restart Threatens to Pull $100 Billion Out of Consumers’ Pockets - WSJ https://www.wsj.com/personal-finance/student-loan-repayment-consumers-economy-2218ca25?utm_source=newsshowcase