THE RACE TO THE BOTTOM: WHO WILL WIN THE TITLE OF DUMBEST GOVERNOR
In a country where political satire is becoming indistinguishable from reality, the competition for the title of Dumbest Governor is heating up. Forget about the Oscars or the Super Bowl, this is the ultimate contest of one-upmanship, where the goal is not to govern wisely or serve the people, but to pander to the most extreme and irrational elements of the electorate. The three front runners are: Texas Governor Abbott, Oklahoma Governor Stitt, and Florida Governor DeSantis. Let's take a closer look at their qualifications for the coveted title.
Abbott: The Lone Star Loon
Greg Abbott, the Governor of Texas, is a man who knows how to make a fool of himself. He has been a loyal disciple of Trumpism, even when it meant endangering the lives of his own constituents during the Covid-19 pandemic. He has also shown a remarkable talent for blaming others for his own failures, such as the recent power outages that left millions of Texans freezing in the dark. But Abbott's true genius lies in his ability to come up with absurd and unconstitutional laws, such as the ban on abortion after six weeks, which makes him a strong contender for the Dumbest Governor title. His latest stunt is to build a border wall with private donations, as if he were playing Minecraft instead of running a state. Abbott's campaign slogan should be: "Make Texas Dumber Again!"
Stitt: The Sooner Stupid
Kevin Stitt, the Governor of Oklahoma, is a man who makes you wonder how he got elected in the first place. He has been a loyal disciple of Trumpism, even when it meant denying climate change or promoting conspiracy theories. He has also shown a remarkable talent for ignoring the needs of his own constituents, such as the recent surge in Covid-19 cases that overwhelmed hospitals and led to unnecessary deaths. But Stitt's true genius lies in his ability to waste taxpayer money on useless projects, such as his plan to build a new Capitol building, even though there is nothing wrong with the old one. His latest stunt is to sign a bill that protects drivers who hit protesters with their cars, as if he were living in a Mad Max movie instead of a civilized society. Stitt's campaign slogan should be: "Make Oklahoma Grate Again!"
DeSantis: The Sunshine Simpleton
Ron DeSantis, the Governor of Florida, is a man who makes you wonder if he ever read a book or watched a documentary. He has been a loyal disciple of Trumpism, even when it meant downplaying the severity of Covid-19 or promoting unproven treatments. He has also shown a remarkable talent for catering to special interests, such as the recent law that bans transgender athletes from participating in girls' and women's sports, even though there is no evidence of any harm caused by such participation. But DeSantis' true genius lies in his ability to act as if he were above the law, such as his recent pardon of all Covid-19 related fines and penalties for businesses that violated safety regulations. His latest stunt is to sell merchandise that mocks Dr. Fauci and promotes his own political ambitions, as if he were running for class clown instead of Governor. DeSantis' campaign slogan should be: "Make Florida Gator Again!"
Oneupmanship: The Art of Being More Stupid
The sad reality is that these three Governors are not outliers or exceptions, but symptoms of a larger problem: the degradation of political discourse and the triumph of tribalism over reason. They are not trying to govern effectively or solve complex problems, but to appeal to the lowest common denominator of their base and to outdo each other in their loyalty to Trumpism. They are not leaders, but followers; not statesmen, but demagogues. They are not making America great again, but making it dumber again.
The question is not which one of them is the Dumbest Governor, but how much damage they can do before they are voted out or impeached. The real competition is not among them, but among us: the voters who have the power to elect or reject them; the citizens who have the responsibility to demand accountability and transparency from them; the human beings who have the capacity to think critically and empathetically about the common good.
Let's not be fooled by their slogans or their tweets; let's not be intimidated by their bluster or their threats; let's not be divided by their lies or their hate. Let's be smarter than they are; let's be wittier than they are; let's be funnier than they are. Let's make America great again by making it smarter again.
Author of spoof story shared by Greg Abbott calls him one of ‘dumbest people in the country’ | Greg Abbott | The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jul/17/greg-abbott-spoof-story-garth-brooks-author-dumb