Why those annoying ‘helicopter parents’ aren’t so bad after all
You’ve heard about them for years (and may have been accused of being one): a helicopter parent who hovers over his/her children to such an extent that the kids never learn to be independent, to think for themselves, or to clean up their own messes. Articles and books have been devoted to the so-called epidemic, warning how dangerous these parents are to their children’s development.
But what if it turns out that the helicopter parenting epidemic isn’t real? What if the hysteria over the phenomenon is misplaced? Writer Alfie Kohn makes that case in the following post. Kohn is the author of 14 books on education, parenting, and human behavior, including, most recently, The Myth of the Spoiled Child (Da Capo Press) — from which this article is adapted — andSchooling Beyond Measure (Heinemann). A version of this article appeared earlier on www.alfiekohn.org. I am republishing it with permission.
By Alfie Kohn
Parents who are overly involved in the lives of their college-age children are the folks we love to scorn. A steady stream of articles and blog posts bristle with indignation over dads who phone the dean about a trivial problem or moms who know more than we think they should about junior’s love life. But now that a new school year is starting, it’s a good time to ask just how common such incidents really are — and whether “helicopter parenting” (HP), when it does occur, is as damaging as we’ve been led to believe.
Even monographs on the subject that appear in academic journals tend to begin with sweeping generalizations drawn from popular media coverage — coverage that, in turn, relies mostly on anecdotes. When you track down hard data, the results contrast sharply with the conventional wisdom. Yes, most parents are in touch with their college-age kids on a regular basis. But communicating isn’t the same thing as intervening on a child’s behalf, and the latter seems to be fairly rare. The National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE), which reached out to more than 9,000 students at 24 colleges and universities, found that only 13 percent of college freshmen and 8 percent of seniors said a parent had frequently intervened to help them solve problems.
As one university administrator told the Chronicle of Higher Education, “The popular image of modern parents as high-strung nuisances who torment college administrators doesn’t match reality.” In any case, the students Why those annoying ‘helicopter parents’ aren’t so bad after all - The Washington Post: