The Importance of Emotional Leadership
by George Couros • • 0 Comments
In about my sixth year of teaching, I remember sharing a story about my dogs with my grade 9 students. As I was on my own in a small town where I didn’t know many people, the dogs were a HUGE part of my life and this wasn’t the first or last time I would talk about them. They were and are like family to me. When I was really getting into the story, one of my students shouted out in the middle of the class and said, “We don’t want to hear another story about your stupid dog.”
Years prior, I probably would have asked her to leave, got frustrated at the comment, and would have shown anger before anything. This time I didn’t. Instead, I said to her, “Those dogs are a huge part of my life and when you say something like that it really hurts me.” Her facial expression and demeanour changed quickly, as did several of others in the class. I was no longer simply a “teacher”, but a person, with real feelings and emotions. After that moment, I felt a real change in how I was treated by students and, in all honesty, how I treated them. It changed a lot for me.
As a principal, it would have been easy to fake emotions and represent that nothing had bothered or stressed me out, but in reality, I was never like that. When Kobe (my first dog) had died, I struggled at school. I spent a lot of time in my office and would often cry to my staff when they shared their condolences. To many, this would be sign of a weakness, but in reality, I would say the exact opposite. To be able to show who you are and share emotion is strength. Denying it and pretending I was feeling something else would not be true to myself. We show our true strength when we accept that that we are vulnerable.
As a speaker, it is not easy to cry in front of people, but sometimes by showing emotion, I feel it is what makes me relatable. Although I talk a lot about education, it is often the stories of my dad passing away, moments with my family, The Importance of Emotional Leadership | Connected Principals