I have sympathy for the Nebraska school now in the national spotlight for a bullying flyer with recommendations that parents found troubling, including don’t tattle on bullies as it will get them mad and don’t be a sore loser.
In the last 15 years, I’ve interviewed many ‘experts” on bullying. I've read countless surveys, media stories and reports on bullying. I've talked to dozens of parents about their child’s experience. (There hardly seems to be a parent in America whose child has not reported at least one bullying episode.)
I’ve also talked to teens and college students about their experiences being bullied in middle and high school. Most said school assemblies, awareness campaigns and class discussions did little to stop the harassment and exclusion. The problem was often that the kids doing the bullying did not identify it as such so anti-bullying messages went right past them.
