Bottom of the Barrel
Plumbing the depths of elite disdain
First off, let’s get this straight: Arne Duncan (Harvard ’87) did not say that the majority of American teachers come from the *bottom of the barrel.* What heactually said was that “In the United States, a significant proportion of new teachers come from the bottom third of their college class”—which is completely different. For one thing, there is no mention of either bottoms or barrels in that statement. So why did so many teachers hear Duncan talking down to them—in the bottom of their barrel? Simple, reader—and by *simple* I am referring to you. You see, the barrel’s bottom is an enormous place, and shooting into it an elite sport as beloved as the hunting of the pheasant. You think Bowdoin rhymes with pork loin
Alas Bowdoin does not rhyme with pork loin, dear reader, but with “Snowden.” Which is too bad, because had you attended Bowdoin or another highly selective institution, which, both by definition and long-standing practice, cannot be attended by the vast majority of Americans, you would likely know this and would not reside at the bottom of the barrel. Do you even know where Bowdoin is? I didn’t, and neither did my bottom-of-the-barrel teacher sister. Instead, we made our selection of non-selective schools from a pre-selected list:
Alas Bowdoin does not rhyme with pork loin, dear reader, but with “Snowden.” Which is too bad, because had you attended Bowdoin or another highly selective institution, which, both by definition and long-standing practice, cannot be attended by the vast majority of Americans, you would likely know this and would not reside at the bottom of the barrel. Do you even know where Bowdoin is? I didn’t, and neither did my bottom-of-the-barrel teacher sister. Instead, we made our selection of non-selective schools from a pre-selected list: