Emphasizing The Merry This Christmas
The mantra for fathers like me is, “As long as they’re happy, we’re happy.”
Christmas time always has one dark cloud hanging over it with memories of my aunt who passed away almost twenty years ago, and now this year with my father passing away a couple of weeks ago. As a father, the stakes have changed. The inner turmoil I’ve felt has had to step to the side in favor of assuring happiness for my son, who’s now celebrating his second Christmas. His gifts get wrapped, the coquito (read: Latino eggnog) starts flowing, and the star atop our fresh pine tree.
That’s not how it worked, at least for a few hours.
Much of my sadness came from trying to be the best father / partner / friend / brother I can, and perhaps I hold too high a standard for myself, trying to do better than my father could for me and my seven other siblings from him. It can’t be boiled down to any one feeling or one