"The basis of all good human behavior is kindness." —Eleanor Roosevelt
It's a curiously human trait to cling to beliefs based on assumptions and preconceived notions. What we tell ourselves about what's going on with a student's behavior matters greatly and sometimes gravely. Negative beliefs and attributions are known drama enhancers. Not sure you believe this statement? Recall a recent unpleasant interpersonal experience—perhaps with a partner, close friend, your teenager, or a toddler. What do you notice in your body? Tension or ease? More or less anger? Did the argument solve the problem? I mean, really solve it?
My zero-tolerance war on Section 8C felt powerfully good while I planned it. It provided some momentary satisfaction as one by one my students crossed the line and reaped the fruits of my reaction. For a brief moment, I even thought their behavior proved the point that they were "deliberately disrespectful" and had caused my reaction. Of course, the joke was on me. In the end, I still had the behavior, one less coercive trick up my sleeve, and needy 8th grade students who had to take the test.
Perhaps as an educator, you feel trapped in this "Test, No Time" (TNT) story that's triggering so much stress in schools. This belief drives the "we don't have time to deal with social emotional issues. We're here to teach and get our students ready for the test. Besides, the parents should be responsible for how their kid behaves in school." Sadly, I can say that this belief becomes a point of major angst and discussion in every regional