Suggested Materials for a Beginning Public School Teacher
Public School, America (TWP)
You’ve got your degree, your certificate, and your love of education going for you. What else could possibly equip you for a career in the public school teaching field? Here are 5 must-have products on the market designed for the beginning teacher.
1. Bullshit Detector. Yes, these handy little machines are still around and are being improved upon every day. The latest model, Edu-stinko Detecto #253, made by Teaching Implements, Inc., comes with an electronic device into which you can quickly upload any incoming missives, directives, and policy manuals from the administration or state education department. It will comb the material, flush the waste, and eject a simple message. It can shrink a 288-page document on Common Core Standards for Achievement of Priority Student Success into one line: “Teach what you know they need.”
2. RMCS Test Strips. On most days, you will have about 20 minutes to eat lunch, and when you have lunch duty, that will shrink to 10, so many teachers are soon afflicted with RMCS (Rapid Meal Consumption Syndrome). The symptoms are indigestion, confusion, and a general feeling of dissatisfaction with the way that